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Kamis, 17 Januari 2013

Manti Te'o's Girlfriend Fake, Twitter Explodes

Clint Eastwood hits on Manti Te'o's girlfriend
If you watched college football, you knew.  And how could you not?  Every Notre Dame game, commercial, station break, holiday promo and car ad on NBC mentioned the tragic story of Irish linebacker Manti Te'o's girlfriend who had tragically died of leukemia at the beginning of the season just more than a week before Denard Robinson's Heisman hopes died in South Bend.

It was one of the most touching, moving stories of the 2012 season.

Until yesterday.

That's when the college football world was rocked with the news that Te'o's girlfriend did not in fact die -- because she did not in fact exist.  As Deadspin first reported it was all an elaborate hoax: There never was a Lennay... Keku... Kooky... Kockamamie.

Of course, we here at the MZone got absolutely nothing done from the moment we learned about the story, tweeting away the rest of the day.  So, in case you missed 'em, below are a few your perusal.  And if you'd like to follow us on Twitter, we can be found @MZoneBlog.


Somebody really should do some fact checking on that RUDY movie asap. 

Notre Dame is going to have to change that line in its fight song from "Wake up the echoes" to "Make up the echoes"


Cast your vote for Notre Dame's new slogan: 1. "Win one for The Fibber" 2. "Make up the Echoes" 3. "Pretend Like A Champion Today"

After hearing about the Manti Te'o story, I think execs at ABC just found their next Bachelor

Our favorite line from upcoming Manti Te'o movie: "Tell them to go out there with all they've got and win just one for the Fibber." 

Congrats to the MZone on being named Best Sports Blog in America!  

Manti T'eo's girlfriend is fake? Big deal. Jim Delany offered BTN membership to Maryland and Rutgers, 2 fake football teams. 

Please, before it's too late, somebody go check on Lou Holtz

Manti T'eo's girlfriend is fake?! What next, Ohio State fans claiming their bowl-banned probation team should've won the AP National Title? 

I sure wish T'eo's girlfriend had been real and Denard's 5 turnovers against ND hadn't been 

To be fair, Te'o's girlfriend was more real than his Heisman Trophy legitimacy 

BREAKING: Manti T'eo blames his fake girlfriend on violent video games and Hollywood movies.

Looks like Manti Te'o projected 1st round status in the NFL draft is now also a hoax


BREAKING: Lance Armstrong personally thanks Manti Te'o for taking the spotlight off him for a few hours


Kamis, 20 September 2012

Know Your Foe: Notre Dame 2012

Tomorrow night in South Bend, Notre Dame hosts Michigan in Under the Lights 2: Electric Boogaloo.  This year's sequel pits the winningest program in college football history vs. a team whose echoes are in such a deep sleep that NBC is considering ditching them for Saved By The Bell reruns.  UTL/2 will be the 40th meeting between the Wolverines and the pride of the ACC, the Screaming Kelly's.  Michigan currently holds a 23-15-1 advantage in the series, including wins in 5 out of the last 6 and three in a row that all have come on last minute miracle drives by the Maize and Blue.  But you knew all that.  What you didn't know is included in this week's exciting edition of the MZone's world famous Know Your Foe.

History - The name "Notre Dame" is French and means "Our Lady," a Catholic salutation in reference to the Blessed Virgin Mary, the patron saint of the university (as opposed to the Irish's Blessedly Delusional Fans who still think their team is relevant because they have their own network -- the same network that airs Whitney claiming it's "Must See TV").

We're pretty sure the Latin
means "annoying fans"
The school was founded in 1842 by a 28 year old priest and was originally known as "University of Notre Dame du Lac" which, as far as KYF can tell, is not short for "University of Notre Dame du Lac of a National Title Since 1988".  Rather, in keeping with our French theme, it means "Our Lady of the Lake." But there are actually two lakes on campus. Legend has it that when the school was founded, everything was frozen and so they only thought there was one lake. The land on which ND sits had been purchased by Rev. Stephen Badin, the first Catholic priest ordained in the United States, and left in trust for anyone who would found a school on the site. A fire in 1879 practically wiped out the campus, but within ten years the campus was once again thriving.

The influence of Catholicism is obvious throughout the campus, where 82% of the students identify as Roman Catholic. The Basilica of the Sacred Heart is in the center of campus, a statue of the Virgin Mary stands on the dome of the Main Building (“The Golden Dome”), and there are crucifixes in most classrooms on campus. Know Your Foe was unable to confirm if confessionals were installed at Notre Dame Stadium to allow fans to be forgiven for what they shouted out after Notre Dame forgot to cover Jeremy Gallon on U-M's game winning drive last season.

According to Wikipedia, more than 80% of the university's 8,000 undergraduates live on campus in one of 29 single-sex residence halls, each of which fields teams for more than a dozen intramural sports (not to be confused with the team which has struggled on fall Saturdays for the last 15+ years or so). Notre Dame's approximately 120,000 alumni are located around the world, any of which will be sure to find you and make your life a living hell if their team beats Michigan this weekend or starts winning again in general.

Location
- Technically, the school is located in unincorporated Notre Dame, Indiana, though most people just consider it in South Bend which is right next door. In addition, you may not know (or care) that Notre Dame is only about four miles from the Michigan border. But, thankfully, it's still in Indiana. 

The population of South Bend has declined since a peak of 132,445 in 1960 to 101,168 according to the 2010 census. Experts say this is due to the demise of heavy industry like Studebaker and Oliver Chilled Plow Company and not because the football team has started to suck. Today, the largest industries in South Bend are health care, education, small business and tourism.

Nickname - Notre Dame athletic teams are known as the Fighting Irish (though students are called "Domers," or those "@#$% annoying fans" by the rest of the country). The Irish have one of the most unique and well-known nicknames in all of sports. As a matter of fact, there are no other colleges that use “Irish” as their nickname.

According to the University's website, there are several legends of how Notre Dame came to be the "Fighting Irish." One story is that the name was born in 1899 with Notre Dame leading Northwestern 5-0 at halftime in Evanston. Allegedly, Wildcat fans began to chant, "Kill the Fighting Irish! Kill the Fighting Irish," as if they were drunken Ohio State fans as the second half opened. Another tale has the nickname originating at halftime of the Notre Dame-Michigan game in 1909. With his team trailing, one Notre Dame player yelled to his teammates - who had names like Dolan, Kelly, Donnelly, Glynn, Duffy and Ryan - "What's the matter with you guys? You're all Irish and you're not fighting worth a lick!" Notre Dame came back to win the game (probably while this song played) and the press, after overhearing the remark, reported the game as a victory for the "Fighting Irish."

The most generally accepted explanation is that the press coined the nickname as a characterization of Notre Dame teams in the 1920s as a result of preexisting Irish stereotypes.

Before the ‘20s, Notre Dame had several nicknames, including the Rovers and the Ramblers, due to their willingness to travel to play football during the Knute Rockne era. At one point they were also known as the Terriers, at which time an Irish Terrier would appear on the sideline during football games. There’s no doubt that if they’d kept that name, the history of Notre Dame football would be very different (although they may be forced to re-adopt that name if they keep going 8-5 even in good years).

Dude, put your hand down.  You can hear Brian Kelly
swearing from the parking lot.
Mascot - The Leprechaun was named the official mascot in 1965. Truth be told, ND's mascot really is a true classic, and the fact that they have a living student version makes this one of the best mascots in all of college athletics. So many times during my youth, when they'd show that leprechaun cheering and mugging for the camera, I just wanted to punch my TV screen. When the mascot is getting under your skin, you know it's good (no, Dave Brandon, that doesn't mean I want some dude in a furry suit running around The Big House).

The live mascot is always a student that wins an annual tryout. The green knickers and gold vest that he wears is topped by an Irish country hat. The leprechaun carries around a shillelagh during the game leading cheers in the student section, and is hoisted by the cheerleaders after every ND score to perform a pushup for every Irish point.  Luckily for those poor cheerleaders, they haven't had to do a lot of heavy lifting the last couple of years.

Worst. Uni. Ever.
Colors - Blue and Gold. That's right, no green. They use the green when they feel like they need it (which means they should permanently switch to green). The blue and gold are a great combination, though not necessarily unique (Navy and Brigham Young use the same colors).  And though they are the picture of utter blandness, the golden helmets are iconic and a perfect symbol for the university (until, that is, they broke out the ultra, ULTRA gold things this season that are abominations and would cause Knute Rockne to roll over in his grave).  Over-golding aside, ND's helmets represent the Golden Dome atop the Main Building on campus.  As with so many things at Notre Dame, tradition plays a huge part with the helmets. The team’s student managers spray paint the helmets prior to each game, refreshing the shine each week. The paint contains actual gold.  From 1959 to 1962, head coach Joe Kuharich added a green shamrock to the helmet. In 1963, plain white numbers replaced the shamrock for one season.  This season when ND faces Miami, the Irish will don the ugliest "special" uniforms in the history of college football.

Fight SongNotre Dame Victory March. One of the most famous college football fight songs was written by brothers and Notre Dame grads Michael and John Shea in the early 1900s. Though it ranked only fifth in a Sports Illustrated poll of the best college fight songs, it’s second as far as KYF is concerned (The Victors is number one in both rankings). The beginning part with the flutes, where the leprechaun dances around, the way the band plays it quietly during the extra point and then pumps up the volume right after,  and the fact that so many non-football fans know the song make it a classic. Know Your Foe hates it and loves it at the same time.

The original lyrics, which were written in 1908, were revised in the late 1920s to the following:

Rally sons of Notre Dame:
Sing her glory and sound her fame,
Raise her Gold and Blue
And cheer with voices true:
Rah, rah, for Notre Dame
We will fight in ev-ry game,
Strong of heart and true to her name
We will ne'er forget her
And will cheer her ever
Loyal to Notre Dame

Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky.
What though the odds be great or small
Old Notre Dame will win over all,
While her loyal sons are marching
Onward to victory.

Those are some damn good lyrics for a college fight song. They invoke the name of the university, the colors, mention cheering, fighting, and loyalty, and has ultimate confidence in victory. No wonder they’ve won so many football games.

Academics - There's no doubt Notre Dame is a strong academic institution. In the just-released U.S. News and World Report ranking for 2013, Notre Dame is tied for #17 with Rice and Vandy (surprisingly, two schools it is also tied with for football success of late as well). Alumni giving for ND is always among the highest. Perhaps this helps explain why the university reserves almost a quarter of its admissions spots for legacies of Notre Dame. Know Your Foe has always felt that among Big Ten schools, Michigan alums love their school the most. But that love of alma mater is no more than the love Notre Dame grads (and families of grads) have for their school.

Football Program - 13 Fighting Irish teams have won consensus national championships (although the university only claims 11, unlike Alabama which claims one if somebody says "Hey, your team was good this year" anywhere near the Tide campus), along with another nine teams being named national champion by at least one source.

The Irish play in Notre Dame Stadium, an 80,795-seat stadium on campus that was modeled after The Big House. The football team generates enough revenue to operate independently while $22.1 million is retained from the team's profits for academic use. Forbes named the team as the most valuable in college football, worth a total of $101 million in 2007.

Remember her?
Famous alums - Notre Dame covers the gamut here, with alumna in just about every field of endeavor. It’s an extremely lengthy, if not overly impressive list. From the media, 2nd-rate sportscasters Don Criqui, Ted Robinson, and Tim Ryan are all ND grads. CBS Morning Show talking head Hannah Storm is an Irish grad as is ESPN Radio morning talking head Mike Golic. Obnoxious talk show hosts Phil Donohue and Regis Philbin both went to ND as did punk rock's Ted Leo, and comedy's George Wendt. Former Secretary of State Condaleezza Rice as well as Chicago Cub fan turned villain Steve Bartman have ND diplomas hanging on their wall as do current or former CEOs of Texaco, Liz Claiborne, DTE Energy, Office Depot and Red Hat. And don't forget about that character Martin Sheen played on The West Wing. But they’ve only had a fictional president from Notre Dame, not a real one.

The Game - As much as I want the Wolverines to take four in a row off the Irish for the first time since we won the the opening eight in the series starting in 1887, I don't think we've looked particularly sharp this year (and injuries haven't helped).  Our O-line hasn't jelled and our defense has looked Gergian at times.  Denard can only do so much on his own.  On the flip side, as much as I hate to admit it, Notre Dame looked good last week and manhandled MSU on the road.  And these guys are going to be very hungry to end their losing streak against Michigan at home.  Finally, how many damn miracles can we pull out against these guys?

Answer: none this weekend.

Michigan - 14
Notre Dame - 24

Getting Pumped for Saturday with Ufer

As we get ready for Saturday's Michigan-Notre Dame showdown in Under the Lights 2, thought we'd dig into the ol' MZone archives for one of our favorite videos from last year: What if Bob Ufer had called the U-M/ND classic from last season?  It probably would have gone something like this...


Senin, 17 September 2012

How Notre Dame Preps for Michigan

The video below was put up by the official Notre Dame football YouTube channel, InsideNDFootball.  In it, the Fighting Irish prep for Michigan by...bouncing ping pong balls into a cup.



Good thing we're playing them in football Saturday and not beer pong.

Sadly, as you can tell by the excitement at the 1:27 mark, sinking a ping pong ball into a Gatorade cup is the biggest play Notre Dame has made during Michigan week in the last several years.

Oh. No. He. Didn't!

Yes, he did!

Senin, 12 September 2011

Imagine Bob Ufer calling the Michigan-Notre Dame game

About the only thing that could have possibly made the Michigan-Notre Dame game last Saturday night any better would have been to hear legendary Michigan football announcer Bob Ufer call what one could easily argue is the greatest comeback in U-M's storied history (it's definitely the most improbable).

For those of us not fortunate enough to be at the game, we got Brent Musburger on ESPN.  Fine, professional announcer.  But no Bob Ufer.

As I savored the victory, I got goosebumps just thinking about "old man Ufer" honking his "Bo 'George Patton' Schembechler" scoring horn after his beloved Meeeeechigan Wolverines unbelievable touchdown with two seconds left.  Something tells me, he'd still be honking the thing.

This all spawned the video below.  Enjoy.  Go Blue.  And...

God bless each and every one of your cotton pickin' Maize and Blue hearts!



UPDATE: If you'd like to honor Bob Ufer's legacy, check out this post with links to the Ufer Foundation.

Minggu, 11 September 2011

My bad: I thought that was Comeback Jesus

Last night as Erin Andrews interviewed a very calm Brady Hoke post-game - like driving 80 yards in the game's final 30 seconds... against one of your biggest rivals... in the first-ever night game in Big House history... and coming back from 17 down in the 4th quarter... all were no big deal - my friends and I (between high-fives, hugging and near man-weeping) each said the same thing:

Who the hell is the long-haired bearded guy standing behind Brady?


He was the first guy to reach the U-M defenders who chased the fumbled kick-off through endzone on the game's last play (at the end of this video):



And now here he was on the field standing over the shoulder of Hoke.   Dare I say, looking down upon him like something - or someone - from above.

Who is this guy?!

And then it hit me: My God, after a third consecutive stunning victory over Notre Dame, this must be Comeback Jesus! It was the only logical explanation! How else do you explain a victory by our beloved Wolverines who had but three - yes, 3! - first downs in the first half and were down 17 going into the 4th quarter?  Who scored twice in the game's final 1:12 to pull out shocking victory!

Finally, the magic had shifted from the Golden Dome and Touchdown Jesus of Notre Dame to the miracles of Michigan. All personified in the deity standing on the field now in human form: Comeback Jesus!  Appearing out of nowhere to save Michigan from disaster!

Amen!

But, alas, Greg at MVictors discovered a much more earthly answer for this mysterious man: it was former Michigan center Steve Everitt sporting his lucky shirt.

Hmmm.  Well, if you say so, Greg.  I mean, I guess it could be Steve.  Although after last night.  I think my initial instinct is much more plausible.

Oh, and Steve, if you need somebody to wash that lucky shirt for you, I think you can find about 115,000 folks who will do it for free so that you wear it to every Michigan game this year (plus everybody at the game needs to do a load anyway today since they soiled what they were wearing last night after that finish).

Are you sure this isn't Comeback Jesus?

(pics via MVictors and MGoBlog, respectively)

Jumat, 09 September 2011

What did that sign say at the Obama speech?

A stir was caused last night on Capitol Hill when a Louisiana lawmaker held up a sign during President Obama's jobs address to Congress.  Naturally, the MZone has a picture:



Finally: a bi-partisan statement coming out of Congress.

Know Your Foe: Notre Dame 2011

Michigan hosts Notre Dame for the first-ever night game at The Big House this Saturday in a match up of the two winningest (though not recently) programs in college football history (much of which they created). Michigan is coming off a three-quarter victory over WMU in a game shortened due to extreme conditions that were more biblical than football-able. Notre Dame is coming off a shocking loss to South Florida in a game we're pretty sure just ended on Wednesday due to extreme conditions along with Brian "Old Yeller" Kelly taking a 72 hour "scream at my @#$%! team timeout."

Notre Dame and Michigan first played in 1887 when the Wolverines brought football to South Bend and played a bunch of students (not unlike USF did last week). The Wolverines also introduced Fighting Irish to losing, winning the first 8 contests. Michigan leads the overall series 22-15-1. But this isn't about the stuff you know about our opponent, it's about the stuff you don't. It's the 2011 edition of the MZone favorite, Know Your Foe.

I thought this was a clue from LOST
but it's the Notre Dame seal
History - The name of the university, "Notre Dame", is French meaning "Our Lady", a Catholic salutation in reference to the Blessed Virgin Mary, the patron saint of the university (as opposed to the unprintable string of obscenities Brian Kelly was seen using on the sidelines last weekend which is Pardon My French meaning "My starting quarterback sucked.")

The school was founded in 1842 by a 28 year old priest and was originally known as "University of Notre Dame du Lac," which - in keeping with our French theme - means "Our Lady of the Lake." But there are actually two lakes on campus. Legend has it that when the school was founded, everything was frozen and so they only thought there was one lake. The land on which ND sits had been purchased by Rev. Stephen Badin, the first Catholic priest ordained in the United States, and left in trust for anyone who would found a school on the site. A fire in 1879 practically wiped out the campus, but within ten years the campus was once again thriving (which, in retrospect, is shorter than it has taken to revive the football that, long after Lou Holtz left, is still not thriving).

The influence of Catholicism is obvious throughout the campus, where 82% of the students identify as Roman Catholic. The Basilica of the Sacred Heart is in the center of campus, a statue of the Virgin Mary stands on the dome of the Main Building (“The Golden Dome”), and there are crucifixes in most classrooms on campus. Know Your Foe was unable to confirm if confessionals were being installed at Notre Dame Stadium to allow fans to be forgiven for what they shouted out last weekend after three ND turnovers inside the USF 10 yard line.

According to Wikipedia, more than 80% of the university's 8,000 undergraduates live on campus in one of 29 single-sex residence halls, each of which fields teams for more than a dozen intramural sports (not to be confused with the team which has struggled on fall Saturdays for the last 15 years or so). Notre Dame's approximately 120,000 alumni are located around the world, any of which will be sure to find you and make your life a living hell if their team beats Michigan this weekend or starts winning in general.

Location
- Technically, the school is located in unincorporated Notre Dame, Indiana, though most people just consider it in South Bend which is right next door. In addition, you may not know (or care) that Notre Dame is only about four miles from the Michigan border. But it's still in Indiana. Thankfully.

The population of South Bend has declined since a peak of 132,445 in 1960 to 101,168 according to the 2010 census. Experts say this is due to the demise of heavy industry like Studebaker and Oliver Chilled Plow Company and not because the football team has started to suck. Today, the largest industries in South Bend are health care, education, small business and tourism.

Nickname - Notre Dame athletic teams are known as the Fighting Irish (though students are called "Domers," or those "@#$% annoying fans" by others). The Irish have one of the most unique and well-known nicknames in all of sports. As a matter of fact, there are no other colleges that use “Irish” as their nickname.

According to the University's website, there are several legends of how Notre Dame came to be the "Fighting Irish." One story is that the name was born in 1899 with Notre Dame leading Northwestern 5-0 at halftime in Evanston. Allegedly, Wildcat fans began to chant, "Kill the Fighting Irish! Kill the Fighting Irish," as if they were drunken Ohio State fans the second half opened. Another tale has the nickname originating at halftime of the Notre Dame-Michigan game in 1909. With his team trailing, one Notre Dame player yelled to his teammates - who had names like Dolan, Kelly, Donnelly, Glynn, Duffy and Ryan - "What's the matter with you guys? You're all Irish and you're not fighting worth a lick!" Notre Dame came back to win the game (probably while this song played) and the press, after overhearing the remark, reported the game as a victory for the "Fighting Irish."

The most generally accepted explanation is that the press coined the nickname as a characterization of Notre Dame teams in the 1920s as a result of preexisting Irish stereotypes.

Before the ‘20s, Notre Dame had several nicknames, including the Rovers and the Ramblers, due to their willingness to travel to play football during the Knute Rockne era. At one point they were also known as the Terriers, at which time an Irish Terrier would appear on the sideline during football games. There’s no doubt that if they’d kept that name, the history of Notre Dame football would be very different (although they may be forced to re-adopt that name if they keep losing to teams like USF).

Dude, put your hand down.  You can hear Brian Kelly
swearing from the parking lot.
Mascot - The Leprechaun was named the official mascot in 1965. Truth be told, ND's mascot really is a true classic, and the fact that they have a living student version makes this one of the best mascots in all of college athletics. So many times during my youth, when they'd show that leprechaun cheering and mugging for the camera, I just wanted to punch my TV screen. When the mascot is getting under your skin, you know it's good (no, Dave Brandon, that doesn't mean I want some dude in a furry suit running around The Big House).

The live mascot is always a student that wins an annual tryout. The green knickers and gold vest that he wears is topped by an Irish country hat. The leprechaun carries around a shillelagh during the game leading cheers in the student section, and is hoisted by the cheerleaders after every ND score to perform a pushup for every Irish point.

Colors - Blue and Gold. That's right, no green. They use the green when they feel like they need it (which means they should permanently switch to green). When they first broke out the green jerseys in the '70s it was a fun gimmick. But now that just about every college and pro team has an "alternate" jersey (and Oregon has 384), this tactic seems very played. The blue and gold are a great combination, though not necessarily unique (Navy and Brigham Young use the same colors).  And though they are the picture of utter blandness, the golden helmets are iconic and a perfect symbol for the university.

Helmets - ND's helmets represent the Golden Dome atop the Main Building on campus.  As with so many things at Notre Dame, tradition plays a huge part with the helmets. The team’s student managers spray paint the helmets prior to each game, refreshing the shine each week (INSERT 487TH USF JOKE ABOUT NOT NEEDING TO DO THAT AFTER LAST WEEKEND HERE). The paint contains actual gold. Although ND has had the same helmet design since 1964, which is the longest-running unchanged helmet design among the NCAA Division I-A colleges, they haven’t always been so plain. From 1959 to 1962, head coach Joe Kuharich added a green shamrock to the helmet. In 1963, plain white numbers replaced the shamrock for one season.

Fight SongNotre Dame Victory March. One of the most famous college football fight songs was written by brothers and Notre Dame grads, Michael and John Shea in the early 1900s. Though it ranked only fifth in a Sports Illustrated poll of the best college fight songs, it’s second as far as the MZone is concerned (The Victors is number one in both rankings). The beginning part with the flutes, where the leprechaun dances around, the way the band plays it quietly during the extra point and then pumps up the volume right after and the fact that so many non-football fans know the song make it a classic. Know Your Foe hates it and loves it at the same time.

The original lyrics, which were written in 1908, were revised in the late 1920s to the following:

Rally sons of Notre Dame:
Sing her glory and sound her fame,
Raise her Gold and Blue
And cheer with voices true:
Rah, rah, for Notre Dame
We will fight in ev-ry game,
Strong of heart and true to her name
We will ne'er forget her
And will cheer her ever
Loyal to Notre Dame

Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky.
What though the odds be great or small
Old Notre Dame will win over all,
While her loyal sons are marching
Onward to victory.

Those are some damn good lyrics for a college fight song. They invoke the name of the university, the colors, mention cheering, fighting, and loyalty, and has ultimate confidence in victory. No wonder they’ve won so many football games.

Academics - There's no doubt Notre Dame is a strong academic institution. But how strong all depends on who you ask. Ask a Domer and he's going to say it's at least in the top ten, maybe even number 1, up there with Stanford, Harvard, Princeton and Yale. Most non-Domers would put it somewhere outside the top 25. Michigan grads would put it anywhere below U-M. Domers love their school and that's one of the main reasons it ranks highly on college rankings like the U.S. News and World Reports' list, where it ranks 19th (Michigan is 29th). Alumni giving for ND is always among the highest. Perhaps this helps explain why the university reserves almost a quarter of its admissions spots for legacies of Notre Dame. Know Your Foe has always felt that among Big Ten schools, Michigan alums love their school the most. But that love of alma mater is no more than the love Notre Dame grads (and families of grads) have for their school.

Football Program - 13 Fighting Irish teams have won consensus national championships (although the university only claims 11, unlike Alabama which claims one if somebody says "Hey, your team was good this year" anywhere near the Tide campus), along with another nine teams being named national champion by at least one source.

The Irish play in Notre Dame Stadium, an 80,795-seat stadium on campus that was modeled after The Big House. The football team generates enough revenue to operate independently while $22.1 million is retained from the team's profits for academic use. Forbes named the team as the most valuable in college football, worth a total of $101 million in 2007.

Would you rather see them or Regis?
Famous alums - Notre Dame covers the gamut here, with alumna in just about every field of endeavor. It’s an extremely lengthy, if not overly impressive list. From the media, 2nd-rate sportscasters Don Criqui, Ted Robinson, and Tim Ryan are all ND grads. CBS Morning Show talking head Hannah Storm is an Irish grad as is ESPN Radio morning talking head Mike Golic. Obnoxious talk show hosts Phil Donohue and Regis Philbin, both went to ND as did punk rock's Ted Leo, and comedy's George Wendt. Former Secretary of State Condaleezza Rice as well as Chicago Cub fan turned villain Steve Bartman have ND diplomas hanging on their wall. As do current or former CEOs of Texaco, Liz Claiborne, DTE Energy, Office Depot and Red Hat. And don't forget about that character Martin Sheen played on The West Wing. But they’ve only had a fictional president from Notre Dame, not a real one.

The Game - Tough call.  Really tough call.  While the Irish looked awful last weekend, there is no way they can be that bad (can they?).  As even Kelly screamed said, a lot of those mistakes can be corrected. And he's probably right.  Plus with the QB change (to the guy who started and won ND's last for games for the team in 2010), who knows.

As for Michigan, even the biggest fan (us included) has to admit the jury is still out.  The defense initially looked like last year's squad, but then made some adjustments...then the game ended.  The offense wasn't bad, Shoelace didn't have to do it all...then the game ended.  But we're all waiting for Denard to break free - just like he did last year vs. ND.  Will this be the day Shoelace again becomes Superman? Under the lights?  In Michigan's first night game?

Yes.

Michigan - 24
Notre Dame - 14

Sorry, still absolutely hate these.  The two best unis in
college football should be wearing the two best unis in
college football.  Not marketing shit designed to sell crap.

ED. NOTE: As before, thanks to Ron for his help with KYF!

Rabu, 07 September 2011

Unable to wake up the echoes, Irish learn they are actually in a coma

(from MZone Wire Reports)  South Bend, IN -- After trying for years to wake up the echoes in order to restore their once-proud football program, Notre Dame fans were stunned to learn yesterday that the echoes aren't asleep but are actually in a permanent coma.

The echoes, seen here two weeks ago,
where still thought to be sleeping
Dr. Ronald P. Rosenrosen of South Bend Memorial Hospital held a press conference on Wednesday and declared the echoes officially brain dead.  While Notre Dame fans had been holding out hope that the Fighting Irish would continue to stop sucking, Rosenrosen's medical diagnosis means that the echoes will remain in a persistent vegetative state until they are taken off of life support.

"As much as it pains me to be the one to tell Irish Nation the bad news, their team as they knew it in the days of Rockne and Ara, and even Lou, isn't coming back.  No matter how fooled NBC is nor how long their fans mistakenly believe that they can survive as a relevant independent.  Those days are over."

Following the press conference, Notre Dame students could be seen on campus breaking out in tears - even more so than after witnessing the cluster-fuck that was their team's opening 23-20 loss to USF last Saturday.

"I came to Notre Dame because we continue to always have top 20 recruiting classes and we somehow still manage to get a pre-season top 25 ranking based on absolutely nothing," said sophomore Pete O'Gallagher of Chicago.  "So I thought there was a chance.

"I didn't," said O'Gallagher's roommate, junior Kelly O'Murray.  "I kinda always knew it was over, you know?  I mean, it kept going from bad to worse with Davies, then whatshisname, then Weis.  Now Brian Kelly.  Even still, to hear that it's over and the echoes are never waking up?  It hurts."

When asked for comment, current Notre Dame head coach Brian "Tourette's" Kelly told the MZone to fuck off.  Then he told us to go fuck ourselves.  Then Kelly said "fuck" 30 more times before storming back into his office and slamming the door in our faces, before saying "fuck!" one more time really loud on the other side of the door.

In a related story, the MZone has learned Kelly has re-done the famous "Play Like A Champion Today" sign which hangs outside the Irish locker room leading to the tunnel to the field at Notre Dame Stadium.  Here is an exclusive look at the sign which is set to be unveiled before next week's Michigan State game in South Bend.

Selasa, 06 September 2011

Deep Thoughts by Brian Kelly

In the wake of Notre Dame's loss to USF, Irish head coach Brian "The F-Bomber" Kelly, had this to say:

"You can't start winning until you stop losing."

Whooooaaaa. 

And the Lord reached down from the heavens, placed his finger on the coach and said, "Lo, thy name is genius."

But what can you expect from a coach who can put together a string of profanities that would make Lil' Wayne go, "There's a combo I never thought of."  In fact, these aren't the first pearls to fall forth from Coach Kelly.  Among the other Kelly-isms the MZone has uncovered:

*  "If the QB passes the ball, then it is not a running play."

*  "You always must play the first half of the game before the second half starts."

*  "A sunny day is just a rain storm minus the water."

*  "I've yet to lose a game in which my team scored more points."

*  "Holy crap, did Dayne Crist suck ass last Saturday!"

*  "A road game is simply a home game in front of the other team's fans."

*  "The day after tomorrow will be yesterday in 72 hours."

*  "No, seriously, how ass-awful was Dayne Crist last week?!   What the fuck?!"

*  "A donut without a hole but made of leather ...and covered with laces ...and shaped like a prolate spheroid ...is a football."

*  "I no longer think it is possible to wake up the echoes, for I now believe they are in a coma and probably brain dead."

*  "A donut without a hole but made of leather ...and covered with laces ...and shaped like a prolate spheroid ...is a football ...that will be thrown right into the arms of the other team's DB inside the opponents' 10 yard line if you fucked up and started Dayne Crist."

* "Touchdown Jesus was really just signaling for a field goal."

*  "Profanity is the subconscious's way - minus the "sub" part - of telling your QB the things that will make him a better player... except Dayne Fucking Crist!"

Leave us your favorite Kelly-ism in the comments section.

UPDATE:

So I just read this by a writer from the Chicago Tribune quoting ND WR Mike Floyd on playing in the first night game at Michigan: "It's just a regular game, but the sky is dark, and it's on a different channel."

Hell, at first I thought it was just a submission for this post!

Senin, 05 September 2011

MZone Sneak Peek: ANGER MANAGEMENT ...starring Brian Kelly

The MZone has been talking about Notre Dame head coach Brian Kelly's anger issues for a long time.  Last season, we were the ones who broke the story of Kelly chewing out Touchdown Jesus.

And things have only gotten worse.

In Notre Dame's opening home loss against USF last Saturday, Kelly was again at his curse-like-a-sailor best.   TV cameras caught him going ballistic on the sidelines several times.  The outbursts were so bad, some are now starting to ask if he's too angry to be Notre Dame's coach.

But while the National Catholic Register has a problem with Kelly's salty language, Hollywood does not.

In an MZone exclusive, we've obtained a teaser trailer of Kelly's starring turn in a remake of the Adam Sandler/Jack Nicholson movie, ANGER MANAGEMENT.  Be warned that the clip contains language - just like the Notre Dame sidelines - which may be unsuitable for kids who didn't grow up grow up with a father who was a Marine drill instructor suffering from Tourette's Syndrome.




UPDATE:

The MZone has learned that initial test screenings of the Anger Management remake are going so well, Kelly is busy at work on a sequel to the classic horror movie, SCANNERS.

Rabu, 23 Maret 2011

Michael Floyd: Drunk Like a Champion Last Weekend

Notre Dame receiver Michael Floyd - the school leader in TD receptions - was arrested over the weekend for DUI, blowing a .19 which is just a nudge over the .08 legal limit in Indiana.

And this isn't Floyd's first alcohol-related offense.  In May, 2009, and January, 2010, he was cited for underage alcohol consumption.

After the latest incident, Irish coach Brian Kelly suspended Floyd "indefinitely" and said he didn't know a timetable for determining Floyd's future.

Anybody want to bet the conclusion of that timetable and punishment for this 3x offender will be sometime before Notre Dame's second game against Michigan?  Anybody?