Urban Meyer Southwest Airlines Commercial

Nothing like a good ol' fashioned scandal in Columbus to pull us back to the MZone blogging machine.  Behold our latest creation...




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Getting Pumped for Saturday with Ufer

As we get ready for Saturday's Michigan-Notre Dame showdown in Under the Lights 2, thought we'd dig into the ol' MZone archives for one of our favorite videos from last year: What if Bob Ufer had called the U-M/ND classic from last season?  It probably would have gone something like this...

New Beavis & Butthead Episode: Michigan vs. Ohio State

As you may have heard, MTV's Beavis and Butthead is back.  And in an MZone exclusive, we have obtained the clip below from this week's show in which the boys weigh in on Michigan and Ohio State.

Enjoy...



Yep.  Just another little something to pass on to your Buckeye friends.  You're welcome.

Go Blue!

Luke Fickell talks to his team before the Michigan-Ohio State game

In an MZone exclusive, we have obtained the video below of soon-to-be-fired Ohio State football coach Luke Fickell addressing the Buckeyes for this week's big Michigan-Ohio State game. 

As you can tell, the man is a motivational master. 



Note: I was going to start a "Luke Fickell" tag for posts about him here at the MZone. But then I realized, what's the point?

Something to share with your Ohio friends this week

In honor of Michigan-Ohio Week, we reach back into the MZone Archives for one of your favorites.  Below is a little something you can pass on to your Buckeye friends this week (and really, throughout the year).  

You're welcome!

First there was the ESPN "Without sports" commercial of the Ohio State/Michigan couple making out on the couch. Now comes this one...

SpongeBob sings IN THE BIG HOUSE

So I was bored and the idea made me laugh.  Finally -- a G-rated MZone video the entire family can enjoy.*  Behold...



* Except Brian at MGoBlog's family

MZone Autopy: Dissecting the Michigan State game

We present a potential new feature: The MZone Autopsy, in which we reveal what we learned after dissecting Michigan's previous game.  Unfortunately, the corpse on the table today is U-M's following the beating (both literally and figuratively) the Wolverines received from MSU.

So put on your surgical masks and some rubber gloves then gather around the table. This isn't going to be pretty.

NOTE:  If you forgot to bring your rubber gloves, simply use two of the 864,000 plastic bags that were blowing around Spartan Stadium on Saturday.

MZONE AUTOPSY REPORT: Michigan State

1.  Michigan got beat.  Period.  State was the better team on Saturday.  Period.  Yes, we were still in it in the 4th quarter and had a chance, but that doesn't change the fact that the better team won the game.   Period. 

2.  Were these Big 10 ref trainees working the game?  Again, that's not to blame them for the loss (see #1), but WTF?!  Some of the worst calls/non-calls:
-- The dropped lateral that would have resulted in a Michigan recovery, but instead ended up leading to an MSU TD
-- Taunting Denard during the INT return for a TD
-- The new "prison yard rules" we were playing by.  Because it seemed like only a shanking was going to get somebody booted from the game.  Hell, William Gholston twisted Denard's facemask AND punched Lewan yet was still in the game.  There was less dirty play in The Longest Yard (the original one, not the crappy remake).  

3.  I actually think I dislike Mark Dantonio more than Tressel when he was a around.  Because the mentality that it's okay to play like thugs starts at the top as evidenced by Dantonio saying this in our latest MZone video...



A "cleanly played" game.  Really?  Holy shit, I'd hate to see what he considered dirty.

MSU had five 15 yard personal foul penalties for their BS.  But, according to MSU DC Pat Narduzzi:

"That's what we try to do," Narduzzi said after Michigan State's 28-14 win against Michigan. "Sixty minutes of unnecessary roughness. I'm just happy it didn't get called on every snap."

Yeah, I know Hoke didn't call them out about it.  That's just class.  Don't confuse it with fact.

I wonder if Dantonio is going to call Gholston a "tragic hero" if when he gets suspended by the B1G for his douchebaggery?  

4.  O-line?  We don't need no stinkin' O-line!  The weakest link on the field -- even more so than Denard's passing -- was Michigan's offensive line.  Simply put, they got destroyed.  Blown up, sir!  Yes, I know Denard had a horrible passing season day, but when you have .0003 seconds to throw, you'd be hard pressed to hit a moving target, too.

5.  Despite Chris Spielman being a complete tool during the broadcast trying to stir up trouble, a) there is no QB controversy and b) I didn't have a problem with bringing Devin in on a number of plays.  It's just something different teams have to prepare for.  Did he make some bad plays, like going over the LOS on the "TD" pass?  Sure.  But so did the entire team.  I don't think Hoke/Borges were creating problems using him, I think they were trying to find solutions to an offense that simply wasn't working.  A weak passing game was even worse with the wind.  I think it was reasonable to attempt to find something -- anything -- that would work. 

6.  Some Michigan fans need to channel The Dude and relax (or I need to set my Twitter feed to Asshat Blocker).  Frankly, I'm stunned by how quickly some fans jumped ship (if they were even on board to begin with).  Trashing Hoke after his first loss?  Comparing Borges to Gerg after one bad game?  Seriously?  In case those folks missed it, "Offensively inclined" Michigan scored 17 points vs. MSU last year -- a staggering 3 points more than Saturday. 

7.   As somebody said in (I think) the comments section and continuing the above (in what could really be labeled as 6B), is anybody really surprised?  By that I mean, did anybody think we were going to go 12-0 and contend for the B1G/National Title?  This was the 108 ranked defense in the country last year.  I think by all measures they've radically improved, and not simply because "they have a year more experience."  And the offense, as potent as it is/can be, struggled mightily against the better teams.  So while we can and should expect improvement, just because Hoke seemed to have, as Brian said, a horseshoe up his ass, we can't and shouldn't expect miracles.

If someone would have told you that we'd be 8-4 this year, but show improvement across the board while building a solid foundation for the future, I think most sane fans would have taken it.  I still think that's where we're headed.

8.  I have no problem with the 4th and 1 bootleg call...now kinda.  I was pissed at the time like, probably, many/most of you.  "Why didn't he just sneak it?!?!?"  But while performing this autopsy, I've changed my tune a bit.  We're all pissed because it didn't work.  Because MSU lucked out and had exactly the correct call at precisely the right time to counter it.  That's football.  Put it this way, you know "The Catch"?  The 4th and short Grbac-to-Desmond TD vs. Notre Dame that we all have probably seen 700 times (and still get chills watching)?  Well, if that pass is about 6 inches further out, we're still bitching about why Moeller didn't run a safe play and just pick up the first down.

When one of these gutsy calls work, it's a highlight for generations to come.  When it doesn't work, you're an idiot.  That's football.

But if only he he'd snuck it!...

9.  Please stop with the "special" jerseys/uniforms/whatever.  Michigan has now played two of its three biggest rivals -- ND and MSU -- and in both games, neither they nor Michigan looked like themselves or Michigan.  These Pro Combat/Legacy/Throwback/My Shoe Company Needs to Sell Shit looks are getting out of hand. 

10.  Seriously, what the f*ck was up with the plastic bags in Spartan Stadium?  It was like the landscape from MAD MAX blew across the field for the entire game.  Pick up your trash, East Lansing.

Imagine Bob Ufer calling the Michigan-Notre Dame game

About the only thing that could have possibly made the Michigan-Notre Dame game last Saturday night any better would have been to hear legendary Michigan football announcer Bob Ufer call what one could easily argue is the greatest comeback in U-M's storied history (it's definitely the most improbable).

For those of us not fortunate enough to be at the game, we got Brent Musburger on ESPN.  Fine, professional announcer.  But no Bob Ufer.

As I savored the victory, I got goosebumps just thinking about "old man Ufer" honking his "Bo 'George Patton' Schembechler" scoring horn after his beloved Meeeeechigan Wolverines unbelievable touchdown with two seconds left.  Something tells me, he'd still be honking the thing.

This all spawned the video below.  Enjoy.  Go Blue.  And...

God bless each and every one of your cotton pickin' Maize and Blue hearts!



UPDATE: If you'd like to honor Bob Ufer's legacy, check out this post with links to the Ufer Foundation.

MZone Sneak Peek: ANGER MANAGEMENT ...starring Brian Kelly

The MZone has been talking about Notre Dame head coach Brian Kelly's anger issues for a long time.  Last season, we were the ones who broke the story of Kelly chewing out Touchdown Jesus.

And things have only gotten worse.

In Notre Dame's opening home loss against USF last Saturday, Kelly was again at his curse-like-a-sailor best.   TV cameras caught him going ballistic on the sidelines several times.  The outbursts were so bad, some are now starting to ask if he's too angry to be Notre Dame's coach.

But while the National Catholic Register has a problem with Kelly's salty language, Hollywood does not.

In an MZone exclusive, we've obtained a teaser trailer of Kelly's starring turn in a remake of the Adam Sandler/Jack Nicholson movie, ANGER MANAGEMENT.  Be warned that the clip contains language - just like the Notre Dame sidelines - which may be unsuitable for kids who didn't grow up grow up with a father who was a Marine drill instructor suffering from Tourette's Syndrome.

UPDATE:

The MZone has learned that initial test screenings of the Anger Management remake are going so well, Kelly is busy at work on a sequel to the classic horror movie, SCANNERS.

The MZone presents SUPERLACE: The Movie ...starring Denard Robinson

Rigby's Wallpaper Wednesday inspired the video below.



(HT to FauxCreative and AGold who did some great vids where I found many of the HD clips)

George C. Scott watches Colin Cowherd

If you're a longtime reader of the MZone, you know our history with ESPN "personality" Colin Cowherd.  So it's no secret that we're not big fans of his work.

Apparently we're not alone...



Move over, Hitler - there's a new meme in town.

Texas A&M does "walk of shame" after getting boned by SEC

(from MZone wire reports) College Station, TX - In a humiliating episode for a school with a proud tradition of grabbing their own and other teams' junk, Texas A&M was forced to do the the "walk of shame" after it was screwed by the SEC over the weekend.  SEC officials met Sunday and rejected A&M's request to leave the Texas Longhorn League Big 12 for the Southeastern Conference.

Texas A&M walks home after getting f*cked by the SEC

"I hope he''ll call," said Texas A&M, looking like complete shit as she trudged back to Texas wearing the same thing she wore to the SEC headquarters in Birmingham, AL, the day before.  "I told the SEC I love him.  So he said he'd call.  Do you think he'll call?  Should I Facebook him?"

Unfortunately for Texas A&M, all signs point to no.

As Texas A&M was leaving Birmingham, some SEC members could be seen looking out the window and laughing.

"Texas A&M is like a 2 a.m. booty call," said defending National Champion and SEC member Auburn.  "You know she'll head over anytime, so you don't respect her."

LSU agreed.  "They're almost as bad as Missouri."

So, just what exactly happened?  In an MZone Exclusive, we have obtained a secret recording of the discussions between Texas A&M and the SEC.  Behold...

UPDATE: Thought the vid needed a little music so I added it to the clip below.  Here's the original sans soundtrack.

MZone Exclusive: Joe Paterno's New Commercial

Earlier this week, legendary Penn State football coach Joe Paterno was injured during practice when wide receiver Devon Smith ran into him and knocked him over.

The 84-year-old coach suffered injuries to his hip, shoulder and pelvis.  Luckily, he's okay and is set to return to practice on Wednesday.

This isn't the first time Joe Pa has been roughed up due to a sideline collision.  In 2006, he broke his leg after being run into during his team's game against Wisconsin at Camp Randall Stadium.

But as a result of his latest injury, Paterno agreed to shoot a commercial to officially endorse a product he's come to rely on while roaming the Nittany Lion sidelines.

The MZone has obtained an exclusive first look at the ad which is set to air for the first time next weekend during 60 Minutes.

The Most Interesting (Michigan) Man in the World

Several months ago I started thinking about an idea for another MZone video.  Unfortunately, life intervened and I never got around to it.

But, last week, our friend Dave at Maize n Brew did a piece that inspired me to finish the darn thing.

So MZone Motion Picture Corp, in association with I Need To Stop Wasting Valuable Productive Time Making These Things When I Should Be Working, presents...

The Most Interesting (Michigan) Man in the World

(HT: CadillacMatt95 for the music)

Meet Luke Fickell

Ohio State officially unveiled interim INTERIM INTERIM (emphasis Ohio State's, not MZone's) head coach Luke Fickell yesterday.  Here's a brief bit of the presser...

(Smith intro via Eleven Warriors)

What?

That's not him? Are you sure?

Well...okay. 

Here's another clip of some other dude talking in Columbus yesterday.




If I were a Buckeye fan (and I thank the Lord each and every day that I am not), he doesn't exactly inspire a ton o' confidence based on this press conference (either of the above).  Hell, he looks like the 37-year-old assistant that he was until the "Fickell" finger of football fate tapped him on the shoulder. Then again, the guy was thrown into a no-win (or some would say, no-lose) situation. 

But you never know.  Who would've thought that Lloyd Carr would've gone on to a National Title and Hall of Fame career when he got his unexpected shot?  Same guys just step up when the rest of the world counts them out.

Yet Fickell's future in Columbus may not come down to W's and L's.

When asked if he had known of any past or present NCAA violations or any players or coaches who had done the same, Fickell stumbled through the following answer:

“You know I can honestly say that um...where I wasn’t going to say I had blinders on but...very focused at the task at hand and I was not informed of any information until it became public knowledge.”

It was almost as if he was trying to address a second part to that question which wasn't asked: “If the cars and memorabilia and tattoos were so prevelant, how could you not have noticed, too?  Everyone else on campus seemed to notice the cars the players were driving.”

So the bottom line is, if Tosu's Troubles turn out to be rampant in the program (and not isolated to the Tat 5), I think OSU is going to need a clean break with the past, no matter how well Luke Fickell does on the field (I'm also looking at you, Gene Smith and Gordon Gee).  He'll get the broom in after the season even if Urban Meyer isn't taking their calls. 

Finally, while we swear OSU's deer in the headlights INTERIM head coach looks like a certain waterboy, MZone reader JS said Fickell has "runaway bride eyes"...

The Wonderful World of Tressel presents Vestocchio

MZone Family Films, in association with the Wonderful World of Tressel, is proud to present the timeless animated classic...VESTOCCHIO.

Shot in stunning blogovision, Vestocchio tells the story of a 1-AA coach who dreamt of becoming big time coach.  But he was done in by his wooden ethics.

So sit back, relax and share the magic of...

VESTOCCHIO!

R.M.S. Tressel

The sad voyage of Ohio State coach Jim Tressel



(HT: WLA for the 'copter 'shop)

Tressel's Heroes: I know nothing...NOTHING!

Got the following email from MZone reader Bob last week:

I just read the article on Andy’s buffet about making Tressel stay and not firing him.   I had a thought when I read it and wanted to pass it on.

Excerpt from the article:

A few years ago Troy Smith, the Ohio State Heisman Trophy winner, admitted he had received improper benefits from boosters.

Tressel claimed no knowledge.

Before that, running back Maurice Clarett said in an ESPN The Magazine article that the coach, other members of the Buckeyes staff and Ohio State boosters were guilty of numerous N.C.A.A. improprieties, including providing him — and at times others — with free loaner cars, bogus jobs that paid well and passing grades for classes he did not attend. Nothing came of the accusations, and Clarett wound up in prison for crimes unrelated to football.

Then there was Ray Isaac, Tressel’s quarterback at Youngstown State. Isaac ran into trouble with the N.C.A.A. because he received improper benefits, including money and the use of cars.

Tressel, again, said he knew nothing, though Youngstown State eventually admitted to wrongdoing and accepted minor penalties.

We need a youtube extract of Sargent Schultz (from Hogan’s Heros)  saying “I know nothing”

Agreed. Your wish is our command, Bob. See below!

Michigan fans react to news about AD Dave Brandon's press conference