O. S. U...Tube

We admit there are a lot of YouTube vids by OSU* fans posted here on the MZone.  But it's not our fault.  Honest.  We simply work with what the comedy gods giveth.

Truth is, our crack research team searches just as hard for the crazy or out-there Michigan clips.  However, we usually find things like this...



Sure, it's fine. It's okay. It's...whatever.

But the vids posted by Tosu* fans are, shall we say, different.   And plentiful.  Now that so many in Buckeye Nation Unincorporated Township have finally gotten rid of their AOL dial-up accounts, there is a YouTube glut of these folks sharing their Tosu* pride - usually sans filter. 

For example, last fall, we were traumatized by Mascot Man who sucked so bad he was awesome in a Showgirls kinda way.  There's Jessi-slash-Stretchy Buckeye who, well, this.  And who can forget the Sleepy Rappers?  Not us.

Face it, some dude humming The Victors on a whistle pop just doesn't seem worth posting when up against that kind of competition.

Then there are the Buckeye jackhats who, in their own, limited, f-bomb laden words, say O-H S-O much about the Tosu* fan base.  Like the articulate young man in the videos below.

First, he made the following "test video" in order to familiarize himself with the cutting edge world of YouTube:



Having conquered the intricate YouTube technology with his six second masterpiece above, this deep thinker then proceeded to share his wit and college football wisdom with the world.  Behold the genius...



Favorite line: "You see that fuckin' helmet back there? That's what we do, baby."

Uh, Fathead wall stickers in your room at your mom's house? I'm confused.

Why I love Oregon cheerleaders and The Return of Stretchy Buckeye

ED. NOTE: Due to circumstances beyond my control, our next post in the 25 Things We Love About Michigan Football Saturdays series will go up sometime over the weekend. Sorry for the scheduling delay.

MUD BOWL + CUTE OREGON CHEERLEADER = AWESOME

After our 25 Things countdown post yesterday, I got the following email from Oregon fan, DJ:

As an Oregon fan following your excellent blog since 2007 (guess why), I had to direct you to this video with our former cheerleader (now TV host) getting a little dirty in Michigan...

I've been a fan of Oregon and their fans since my roadtrip to Eugene when Michigan played there in 2003.  Sure, I can do without the crazy uni combos (they have more wardrobe changes than a Lady Gaga concert) but I have perma-crush on their cheerleaders.  The video below that DJ sent only reinforces that.




THE RETURN OF STRETCHY BUCKEYE

So last night I'm searching YouTube for a good Michigan Football hype video (Memo to M Fan who shall remain nameless: Never EVER use a Journey song in a hype video. Those things are, by definition, mutually exclusive) and somehow the video below came up in the search results.

The clip is of some girl calling herself "Jessi Buckeye" and it's posted in support of new Tosu* football coach Luke "Happy Gilmore" Fickell.  Take a gander and we'll discuss more below.



Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.  There's a lot to poke fun at in this vid, the least of which is the blind support for sacrificial lamb Luke Fickell.  I mean, with the camera angle, if not for the door behind her, I would swear she was taping herself on the toilet (Sorry, Jessi).

But bad Buckeye production values are not the reason why I'm giving all-out thanks to the Blogging Gods today.

For some reason, Jessi-with-an-i's name rang a bell in a my blogging brain.  So I did a quick MZone search and hit the jackpot.  You see, we did a post on Jessi waaaay back during the Original MZone (respect) under the title"Stretchy Buckeye."

While you may not remember the post, longtime readers just might remember the pix of Jessi, who called herself "Jessi the Flexi" back then on MySpace (yes, MySpace).  First, here's Jessi (who was a brunette back in the MySpace Era) living up to her "Flexi" name:

And then there's the pic of Jessi singlehandedly spelling out "O-H-I-O":

Sure, the "H" is lowercase. But are you really gonna quibble about that? Me, neither.

Wanting to learn more about Jessi Flexi/Buckeye, I did a Google search and was taken to her Facebook page (sorry, MySpace) where she has a fan page under the name "Jessi Buckeye: Contortionist/Handbalancer."

And she also has a Twitter page with a less-flexible but no less appealing profile pic:

Look, we give our Buckeye brethren a lot of grief here at the MZone (as they deserve).  But we're not haters (not totally).  As we said in that original "Stretchy Buckeye" post, while it's against our religion to say "Go Bucks" here at the MZone, we have no problem giving a very sincere "Go Jessi" after seeing these "flexible" pictures.

But for cryin' out loud, get somebody else to shoot your videos.  

What?  Okay, fine.  I'll do it.

Can Women Have a Buckstache?

Figures.

You're Casey Anthony and you want to go to a place where they not only accept known liars, they make hype videos urging football teams to win for them.  So where do you go?

O-H!...

According to TMZ, Casey Anthony was hanging out in Ohio this weekend and - Thank you, Comedy Gods! - was wearing her Ohio State* hat loud and proud.

Which begs the question: Can women have Buckstaches?

No word yet on when Gene Smith and Gordon Gee are going to hold a press conference defending her character.

Shopping for a Pryor jersey perhaps?

(HT: SiC)

Obese Buckeye fan gets stuck in doorway after shoplifting, then tased

Why T9 thought this warranted but a small blurb on his Delicious Buffet to the right, I'll never know.  I trust you'll see why I bumped it up, stat.

According to NYDailyNews.com:

A 400-pound Michigan woman was busted for shoplifting--and later hit with a Taser-- when her motorized cart got stuck in a supermarket's door, according to police.

Jerrie Perkins, 30, allegedly tried to steal more than $600 worth of electronic merchandise from a Meijer in Rochester Hills last week.

As she attempted to drive out of the supermarket in her cart, the door's alarm was activated. Perkins became hostile when Meijer employees approached her and asked for her receipt.

The 5-foot-2 woman shoved a loss-prevention officer and hit her in the face, the Oakland County sheriff's office told The Oakland Press.

When authorities asked her to put her hands behind her back, she cursed, according to a press release from the sheriff's department, "balled her right hand into a fist and took a fighting stance."

Twice Perkins was asked to put her hands behind her back before deputies zapped her with the Taser.

On her Friendster account, Perkins describes herself as a singer/songwriter/deejay with "a little extra weight."

She was released on $15,000 bail and charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud.

So, why did we do a story about a female shoplifter in Michigan?  Well, check out the pic below:  apparently Ms. Jenkins is a "big" Buckeye fan.

As far as we know, the only basketball in this photo is the orange and white one
being held by the woman in black

Now, there is so much to discuss about this story, I'm not sure where to begin.  So let's just dive in, shall we?

First of all, in the NYDailyNews.com article linked above, their caption under the pic above reads:

Jerrie Perkins, 30, right, attempt to steal from a Meijer in Michigan was foiled when she got stuck in the doorway, police said. 

Perkins is the one on the right?  No shit.  Gee, thanks for clearing that up.   

And I love this line in the initial news story:

On her Friendster account, Perkins describes herself as a singer/songwriter/deejay with "a little extra weight."

Uh, who the hell has a Friendster account?  What is a Friendster account?   Isn't that like a place where swinger's meet?  Can any of our readers in The Lifestyle clear that up for me?


And "a little extra weight"?  Come! On!  Weighing 400 pounds and having to get around on a scooter is not " a little extra weight."  I know we all exaggerate online but that's like Gerg Robinson saying his defense had "a couple lapses" last season.


Finally, I see she was charged with unarmed robbery, second-degree retail fraud, and resisting and obstructing a police officer.  "Obstructing"  a police officer?  Okay, that's just being mean now.


Hey, what is the female equiv of the Buckstache?