HAIL: Brady Hoke named Big Ten Coach of the Year

Some said he was the back-up choice.  Some claimed Michigan settled when it "couldn't" land Les Miles or Jim Harbaugh.  Still others derisively pointed to his ties to former coach Lloyd Carr.

Today, those folks are hard to find.  

He's B1G Coach of the Year, fer God's sake!

After leading Michigan to a 10-2 record -- including a perfect 8-0 at the Big House with wins over ND, Nebraska and Ohio -- Brady Hoke was named the Big Ten Coach of the Year by both the media and the other coaches in the conference.  It was the 6th time a first-year coach had been awarded the media honor which began in 1972 and is named after some guy you probably never heard of.  This marks the inaugural presentation of the coaches' award which is called the Hayes-Schembechler and is named after...I'm kidding.  If you need an explanation for that, please ask your mom how to get back to the Justin Bieber fan site.

As pointed out here and so many other places, Hoke took over a team that had only won six B1G games the previous three seasons and matched that total in his first.  He inherited a defense that was both a punching bag and a punchline.  It was "ranked 110th in total defense in 2010, 16th this season. It was 108th in scoring defense in 2010, No. 9 this year."  And contrary to some fears, the offense didn't suffer -- it was 25th in scoring last year, 23rd this year with a game to go.

In short, Hoke did a helluva job.  Best of all, he did it with class and dignity.

And he's starting to run out of room in his trophy case as this is Hoke's third Coach of the Year honor in four seasons.  Previously, Hoke won the MAC's Coach of the Year award while at Ball State, then he won the same honor for the Mountain West when he was the head man at SDSU. 

Well done, Coach!

Coincidentally, on the same day Hoke was honored, former Michigan defensive coordinator Ron English was named Coach of the Year in the MAC for his work in turning around the Eastern Michigan Hurons Eagles.

Gee, I guess Lloyd Carr's coaching tree isn't too shabby after all.

Finally, this feels like the perfect time to repost the MZone editorial below that first went up on January 13th of this year.

Will some UM fans one day wish they hadn't "shouted at the airport?"

I've been disappointed by the harsh criticism of the Hoke hire in some Michigan quarters.  Obviously one doesn't have to do cartwheels if they disagree - that's what being a sports fan is all about.  But some of the shrill negativity from Day 1 is sad (and no, Rich Rod didn't face such a "the sky is falling!" response immediately following the announcement of his hiring and his first press conference.  But more about that in a post next week).

Judging by some reactions, one would think Dave Brandon hired me (I got a call, but no face-to-face).  Hell, Fox News wasn't this harsh on Obama until at least six days after his inauguration.

But history always has the last laugh.  

When Gene Chizik was hired at Auburn in December 2008, the first video shows the "welcome" he got from one Tiger fan.  This, uh...passionate fan...showed up at the airport to heckle AD Jay Jacobs as he arrived back upon the Plains with his new coach.  The fan was less than thrilled by the selection of Chizik, a former Auburn assistant - an "Auburn Man" if you will - who just went 5-19 at Iowa State.

Actually, there's no need for me to point out Chizik's record as you'll soon understand why:



But, in the wake of Auburn's national title, the maker of the new video below theorizes that that airport "Greeter" might do things a little differently if he had a mulligan:



I hope those Michigan fans who are "shouting at the airport" today regarding Hoke's hire also wish they had a do-over in the near future.

(Video HT: EDSBS)

ED. NOTE:  As Benny noted (yes, that Benny), did you hear what the guy in the top vid shouted out around the :58 second mark?

The Hero's Journey

It's not supposed to be easy.

Mythologist Joseph Campbell believed that there is a basic structure to any good narrative.  No matter the language, culture or country, he argued that there is a pattern that must be followed.  A series of tests a story's protagonist must overcome to get what he wants.  And the bigger the reward being sought, the more daunting the challenges must be to achieve it.  The more valuable the golden chalice, the harder the quest to grasp it.

He called it the monomyth: The Hero's Journey. 

Michigan fans had hoped for an easy victory over Ohio State.  A blowout.  A cake walk.  But that's not how good stories are told.  Even ones written not on the page, but between the lines of a college gridiron.  For after 7* consecutive losses, the task was too important.  After three years staring into the football abyss, the final push toward the mountain top demanded it be the hardest.

The hero's journey must never be easy.

He must enter the cave and slay the dragon.  Not in the first chapter of the book.  Or the start of the movie.  And certainly not during the first half of college football's most storied rivalry when facing one's fiercest adversary .

Everything Michigan faced yesterday was a test to see just how bad they wanted it.  How much they were willing to fight to get it.  To determine if they would quit in the face of seemingly unending obstacles.

To discover just how far they were willing to go to complete their journey.

When facing the 3rd worst passing offense in the country, what were the Wolverines going to do when the Buckeyes scored on a 50+ yard touchdown bomb on their very first possession?  When a nine point lead disintegrated into a one point deficit at halftime, how would they respond after the intermission?  When the star QB fumbled, the punter gave one away, the rebuilt defense showed cracks and the opponent kept fighting, it was nature's way of asking one burning question:

How bad did the hero want it?

And just when it seemed success was at hand, like any good story, there was one final tribulation.  One last twist.  When the clinching touchdown was unfairly taken away with only moments left, would the hero rise yet one more time to the occasion, or finally give up.  Falling just short of his goal.

Michigan's stirring victory over Ohio State played out just as it was supposed to.  Exactly as it was intended to be written.

Saturday's conquest tastes so sweet today because the barriers blocking Michigan from seizing the crown seemed insurmountable.  But now the demons have been vanquished.  The biggest dragon slain.  The maiden's hand won.  The clock has struck :00.

And the hero's journey is now complete.

(HT: to @jlfelicity for sending us the pic above taken by @laurenleland)

The Strange Case of Dr. First Half & Mr. Second

What the hell was that in the first half?

Our defense was getting absolutely shredded.  Only by some miracle were the Wolverines down only 10 points and not 14 after Northwestern dropped a sure TD at the end of the 2nd quarter.  Basically, the Maize and Blue were Dan Persa's bitch. 

Mental mistakes were starting to show.  Michigan was picking up penalties it hadn't had the first five games of the season.  The Wolverines just looked sloppy.

And then there was Denard.

Yes, Denard has been off at times - even long stretches - during the season.  But that first 30 minutes on Saturday vs. Northwestern were horrific.  Between throwing off his back foot, missing wide open receivers and the three picks, it was all going wrong.  Hell, his third INT was so far off the mark, I was actually surprised to see a Northwestern player close enough to make the catch.

And Michigan fans - being the calm, cool, collected bunch that they are -  started to panic.  I saw a comment or two here on the open thread, read some tweets, and even talked to a former blogger-who-shall-remain-nameless, and each suggested it was so bad that Denard should be benched in favor of Devin in the second half.

Thank goodness Hoke and company aren't on Twitter at halftime.

Because Hoke stuck with his star and second half Denard was a totally different player.  Michigan was a different team.  Denard torched Northwestern for 28 points and no INTs while the defense picked up their game, shutting out the Wildcats for the final 30 minutes.

There's no way we win Saturday's Northwestern game last year.  Or the year before that (we'll leave 2008 out of this as there's no way we win anything that year).  Oh sure, last year we still might have scored 28 points in the second half, but we certainly don't shut the Wildcats out. 

And therein lies the biggest difference between 2010 and 2011: halftime.  The coaching staff - both on offense and defense - is making adjustments that are altering - and winning - games (see also: Notre Dame). 

Brady Hoke, Greg Mattison and Al "Mr. Spread" Borges are doing a fantastic job of changing what they're doing based on the current game situation, not simply sticking to the game plan they came in with.  Turnarounds like Saturday's are not happening on talent alone.  Outside of Denard and Martin, this is not an uber-talented team.  They're not good enough to win solely with God-given gifts.  Which is no insult.  This was the 108th-ranked defense in D-1 last year (yes, D-1, screw that FBS crap!).  And they didn't improve this much simply because "they have another year under their belt."  That's what analysts always seem to say when searching for a positive about crappy teams: "Look out!  The Hoosiers have 10 starters back on defense this fall!"  Yeah, 10 dudes who completely sucked balls last year!

No, Michigan now has a staff that is getting the most out of the talent they do have.  And they've got them playing together like a team.  Best of all, if things aren't working at halftime, there's a Plan B.

Strange, indeed.


DID YOU KNOW?

* Through the first 6 games of 2010, Michigan had scored 224 points.  Through the first 6 games of 2011, Michigan has scored 228 points.

* Through the first 6 games of 2010, Michigan's defense had given up 161 points.  Through the first 6 games of 2011, Michigan has given up 75.

*  Via ESPN: It took Rich Rod 33 games to make Michigan bowl eligible. It took Brady Hoke 6 games in his 1st season to make Michigan bowl eligible.

 *  Every year since 1976 that Michigan started a season 6-0, it ended up in the Rose Bowl

*  As of late last night/early this morning, the cheapest tickets for the M/MSU game according to StubHub were $174 each for crappy upper deck seats.

Don't Stop Believin'

Michigan Sports Girl joins the MZone's Board of Contributors (the caps make it seem really official) with her first byline today.  Welcome aboard!

What would Bo Schembechler say about our 132nd season?

It's simple, really.

Keep Believing.

The Team, The Team, The Team

Another outstanding guest post today from Michigan Sports Girl, proprietor of Support Brady Hoke.

Imagine Bob Ufer calling the Michigan-Notre Dame game

About the only thing that could have possibly made the Michigan-Notre Dame game last Saturday night any better would have been to hear legendary Michigan football announcer Bob Ufer call what one could easily argue is the greatest comeback in U-M's storied history (it's definitely the most improbable).

For those of us not fortunate enough to be at the game, we got Brent Musburger on ESPN.  Fine, professional announcer.  But no Bob Ufer.

As I savored the victory, I got goosebumps just thinking about "old man Ufer" honking his "Bo 'George Patton' Schembechler" scoring horn after his beloved Meeeeechigan Wolverines unbelievable touchdown with two seconds left.  Something tells me, he'd still be honking the thing.

This all spawned the video below.  Enjoy.  Go Blue.  And...

God bless each and every one of your cotton pickin' Maize and Blue hearts!



UPDATE: If you'd like to honor Bob Ufer's legacy, check out this post with links to the Ufer Foundation.

My bad: I thought that was Comeback Jesus

Last night as Erin Andrews interviewed a very calm Brady Hoke post-game - like driving 80 yards in the game's final 30 seconds... against one of your biggest rivals... in the first-ever night game in Big House history... and coming back from 17 down in the 4th quarter... all were no big deal - my friends and I (between high-fives, hugging and near man-weeping) each said the same thing:

Who the hell is the long-haired bearded guy standing behind Brady?

 

He was the first guy to reach the U-M defenders who chased the fumbled kick-off through endzone on the game's last play (at the end of this video):



And now here he was on the field standing over the shoulder of Hoke.   Dare I say, looking down upon him like something - or someone - from above.

Who is this guy?!

And then it hit me: My God, after a third consecutive stunning victory over Notre Dame, this must be Comeback Jesus! It was the only logical explanation! How else do you explain a victory by our beloved Wolverines who had but three - yes, 3! - first downs in the first half and were down 17 going into the 4th quarter?  Who scored twice in the game's final 1:12 to pull out shocking victory!

Finally, the magic had shifted from the Golden Dome and Touchdown Jesus of Notre Dame to the miracles of Michigan. All personified in the deity standing on the field now in human form: Comeback Jesus!  Appearing out of nowhere to save Michigan from disaster!

Amen!

But, alas, Greg at MVictors discovered a much more earthly answer for this mysterious man: it was former Michigan center Steve Everitt sporting his lucky shirt.

Hmmm.  Well, if you say so, Greg.  I mean, I guess it could be Steve.  Although after last night.  I think my initial instinct is much more plausible.

Oh, and Steve, if you need somebody to wash that lucky shirt for you, I think you can find about 115,000 folks who will do it for free so that you wear it to every Michigan game this year (plus everybody at the game needs to do a load anyway today since they soiled what they were wearing last night after that finish).

Are you sure this isn't Comeback Jesus?

(pics via MVictors and MGoBlog, respectively)

O. S. U...Tube

We admit there are a lot of YouTube vids by OSU* fans posted here on the MZone.  But it's not our fault.  Honest.  We simply work with what the comedy gods giveth.

Truth is, our crack research team searches just as hard for the crazy or out-there Michigan clips.  However, we usually find things like this...



Sure, it's fine. It's okay. It's...whatever.

But the vids posted by Tosu* fans are, shall we say, different.   And plentiful.  Now that so many in Buckeye Nation Unincorporated Township have finally gotten rid of their AOL dial-up accounts, there is a YouTube glut of these folks sharing their Tosu* pride - usually sans filter. 

For example, last fall, we were traumatized by Mascot Man who sucked so bad he was awesome in a Showgirls kinda way.  There's Jessi-slash-Stretchy Buckeye who, well, this.  And who can forget the Sleepy Rappers?  Not us.

Face it, some dude humming The Victors on a whistle pop just doesn't seem worth posting when up against that kind of competition.

Then there are the Buckeye jackhats who, in their own, limited, f-bomb laden words, say O-H S-O much about the Tosu* fan base.  Like the articulate young man in the videos below.

First, he made the following "test video" in order to familiarize himself with the cutting edge world of YouTube:



Having conquered the intricate YouTube technology with his six second masterpiece above, this deep thinker then proceeded to share his wit and college football wisdom with the world.  Behold the genius...



Favorite line: "You see that fuckin' helmet back there? That's what we do, baby."

Uh, Fathead wall stickers in your room at your mom's house? I'm confused.

Guest Post: Brady Hoke vs. Big Ten Coaches

Last week, I got an email from a recent U-M grad now working for a tech start-up in Santa Barbara, CA.  The company, FindTheBest.com, makes objective comparisons that allow users to sort and filter by what criteria is most important to them. He explained how the site is useful for college football fans and asked if he could write up a short post about it.  

Voila!

Growing up a Michigan football fan has been a true honor.  Up until the Rich Rodriguez era this consisted of being part of winning seasons, trips to the Rose Bowl, and having the opportunity to watch some of college football’s greatest players (e.g. Charles Woodson – college football’s greatest player).  Unfortunately though, Rich Rodriguez was not able to continue the Michigan tradition of winning. With that said, I’m not going to sit here and put all the blame on him, I will say though, that the firing of Rich Rodriguez and the hiring of Brady Hoke was probably the right move.

So the question now is, can Brady Hoke return Michigan Football to glory?  Only time will tell.   What can be examined currently though is how Brady Hoke stacks up to the rest of college football’s coaches.  A new comparison tool from FindTheBest.com allows you to search and compare college football coaches by criteria such as school, winning percentage, age, salary, and much more.

Using FTB’s comparison tool you can compare Brady Hoke to the rest of the Big Ten coaches and see how he fairs (Big Ten Coaches).  Or maybe you want to see how Brady compares to his little brother; you could simply compare Brady Hoke vs. Mark Dantonio and see that Brady Hoke (53 years old) is actually 2 years younger than his little brother Mark (55 years old).  Or even better, maybe you were interested in the Cheaters State University (OSU) coach Luke Fickell; you could compare Brady to the cheaters coach and see that Brady has much more experience than Fickell - (Brady Hoke vs. Luke Fickell).

Furthermore, maybe you just wanted to explore the comparison a little bit; it would allow you to see who the highest paid active college football coaches are (Nick Saban - $6 million per year).  Or see who the oldest active college football coaches are, though it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Joe Paterno is the oldest at the age of 84 years old.  Or my personal favorite; who the winningest coaches are.  Because at the end of the day while a clean program comes first, winning is crucial.  Chip Kelly just so happens to be the winningest active coach in college football currently (though he’s only coached 2 seasons to date).

Whether you want to compare Brady Hoke to the rest of the coaches in college football or just want to have a little fun seeing who makes what or how many bowl appearances each coach has FindTheBest’s College Football Coaches Comparison is a great resource for all Michigan Football Diehards out there.

Go Blue!

Vincent Bradley/Class of 2011

25 Things We Love About Michigan Football Saturdays: #23 Homecoming

Continuing our countdown of the 25 Things We Love About Michigan Football Saturdays.  Today...

#23: Homecoming

Definite crush

Homecoming only #23, you say?

Yes, for one simple reason: it comes but once a year.  Add a couple homecomings each fall and this would surely move up the list.

There's nothing like walking around Ann Arbor on Homecoming, seeing all the old alums strolling across the campus only to suddenly stop in front of a new structure, turn to their spouse and say, "Where the fuck did this building come from?  This wasn't here when I was in school."  Then said spouse (if not also a U-M alum) proceeds to listen politely as the old alum regales her with oft-told (exaggerated) tales of his college days, while the Bruce Springsteen song Glory Days plays somewhere if life truly has a soundtrack.

I also love seeing the old cheerleaders down on the field for the game.  Each, dressed in the cheerleading outfits of their era, staking out a spot along the sidelines as their own.  Leading that section in cheers, both new and old.  For a lot of the guys, it's a chance to see "that one cheerleader" you had a crush on from your student days.  You remember the one.  No, she's still not interested.  But - holy crap! - she still looks amazing in that skirt!  Ah, the crush lingers.  And for the cheerleaders themselves, one can't help but notice the smiles and warm embraces between each of them as they reconnect with old friends, this one day probably the only time they get see people they used to hang out with every day.  Their college friendships now separated by time, distance and that crazy thing we each experience as college disappears in the rearview mirror: life.

Welcome back! Please don't try to flip!

I do however get worried by some of the older male cheerleaders.  There's always that guy who looks like he graduated during the Truman Administration who seems to think he still has the same flexibility and young knees of both his own youth and those of the current crop of male cheerleaders.  Each time they jump or - even scarier - try to flip, I hold my breath, hoping the next thing I hear isn't the Stadium Announcer asking if there is a doctor in Section 17.

And how can you not love the alumni band?  Seeing them high-step it (or any-step it depending on their year of graduation) across the field gives me chills.  Of course, some of those are a different breed of chill, caused by music played by folks who haven't touched an instrument in decades.  But that's just being picky.

Oh, and there's also a game that day, too.

Until recently, homecoming at U-M wasn't about the football.  That's because, until recently, homecoming used to mean an almost guaranteed victory, and usually a blowout "W" to boot.  A relaxing day in The Big House enjoying all the sights and sounds not associated with football.

Unfortunately, those certain victories haven't been so certain lately.  But we trust - nay, know - that's about to change back to the ways of yore.  And maybe, just maybe, it'll help "Homecoming" nudge its way higher in our next MZone poll.

No, of course we didn't forget the Mud Bowl!

Seriously.  Did you really think we'd forget this?!

25 Things We Love About Michigan Football Saturdays

With the start of the 2011 Michigan Football Season just 25 days away, we kick off our blogging campaign with a countdown of the 25 Things We Love About Michigan Football Saturdays.

So until you can be there on September 3rd with 110,000 of your closest friends, do the next best thing: follow along with us here on the MZone as we count down the Maize and Blue memories that, just reading about them, might give you chills. Just thinking about them might cause you to hear the roar of the crowd. And just watching the numbers get smaller lets you know that Meeechigan football is merely days away.

#25: STATE STREET

If you live in one of the suburbs of Detroit or have ever flown into DTW and then driven in from the airport for a game, the feeling starts long before you reach the green highway sign.  It begins as you go west on I-94, passing car after maize-and-blue-adorned car.  Each heading to Exit #177:  State Street.

You inch your way up the off-ramp (nobody said doubling the size of a town was easy on traffic).  Until you're able to make that right on State Street.  You pass Briarwood Mall on your left and, when you clear the light at Eisenhower Parkway, something inside you (and outside your car) changes.

The increasing price to park means you're getting closer.  A few hearty souls park way out and trek in, but usually they're fans of the opposing team who weren't exactly sure where to park so they simply took the first thing they saw.

But not you. 

You don't even start looking until you see the Varsity Tennis Center on the left.  Because right after that comes the golf course.  You can already spot the footballs arcing above the fence, the flags flying high.  Tailgating nirvana is nigh.

Or maybe you wait until you cross over the train tracks and park in one of the student neighborhoods across from Schembechler Hall. Slip in to somebody's backyard who promises "easy in and out" even though it looks doubtful. 

By now the crowds flowing up State Street are no longer confined to the sidewalks.  Reaching McKinley, the car is the intruder, the pedestrian now king.

A party seems to be going on at each of the run-down student houses near State and Hoover.  A keg on the porch, banners draped out of the upper windows, colorful signs for the more creatively inclined.

Continuing on toward the heart of Michigan's campus, you're met by the wall of folks who've attacked A2 from the north.  South Quad, West Quad and the Student Union, where JFK announced his dream of the Peace Corp, to your left; Central Campus and the Diag to your right. 

The stage is set.  The ambiance is perfect.  The game is just around the corner. 

Or, more precisely, now just a short walk from State Street.

Dear Dave Brandon: You can't take a picture with tradition, either

"You can't get your picture taken with the Block M. Mascots are really embraced by the youth demographic and we want to take advantage of that, for all the reasons that are obvious." 

Athletic Director Dave Brandon on having a mascot at Michigan

In many ways, Michigan AD Dave Brandon is one of the primary reasons the MZone is again part of the U-M blogosphere.  And that's not a compliment.

After 2+ years of cyber silence (and no intention of returning), I came out of hibernation last August when, in the midst of Big 10 divisional realignment talk, it was revealed that the Michigan-Ohio State game was almost certainly going to be moved from its traditional season ending spot on the schedule.

Now, it's one thing for Jim "Yes, the Tat 5 should play in the Sugar!" Delany to whore out to network wishes and advocate moving The Game.  Or Barry "We want to sit at the big table!" Alvarez getting behind changes that will keep many folks across the country from thinking first of the Wolverines and the Buckeyes when they think of the Big 10.  But Michigan's own athletic director supporting something that would dilute and detract from what arguably is the greatest rivalry in college football?!

Asinine.

Brandon should have been screaming from the rooftops in protest.  Instead, the former Domino's CEO didn't even seem to realize what an appallingly bad idea it was, talking about preparing for change and saying such things as:

“I think there’s a distinct possibility that game will be a later game in the season but not necessarily the last game of the season.  That’s simply because I don’t think the coaches or the players or the fans or the networks or anyone would appreciate that matchup twice within a seven-day period.”

This after voicing the misguided (and still misguided!) assertion that it's better to have Michigan and Ohio State in separate divisions "because we’re in a situation where one of the best things that could happen, in my opinion in a given season, would be the opportunity to play Ohio State twice.  Once in the regular season and once for the championship of the Big Ten."

No, that's not one of the best things.  Really.  It's not.  And for Michigan's AD to not understand that was actually sort of scary.

Yeah, I know he played under Bo.  But that doesn't mean his leadership of The Leaders and Best is always correct or beyond reproach.  Sometimes Brandon's boardroom background needs to take a back seat to lessons learned in The Big House locker room.  Because if Bo had still been alive and heard that crap about The Game, he'd have kicked Brandon's ass right back to Domino's.

Those were the answers of a man more concerned with television than tradition, seemingly more interested in appeasing advertisers than alums.  At a time like that, Michigan fans needed and deserved their team's old QB/DE, not the former pizza CEO. 

Unfortunately, Brandon only changed his tune (along with the B10, and OSU's president and AD) after - holy shit, locusts! - U-M and Ohio State fans teamed up to voice their unified outrage at the asshattery.

But that wasn't the end of Brandon's questionable calls.

Earlier this month there was the "retro jersey" controversy.  And just last week, Brandon created another stir when he hinted that he was exploring the possibility of adding a Wolverine mascot to The Big House sidelines, talking about it in terms of "youth demographics."

"I'm struck by the fact that when opposing teams come to our stadium, and they bring a mascot, all of our young fans are lined up to see if they can get a picture taken with it, whether it's the Penn State Nittany Lion or Sparty," Brandon told Michigan Today. "That's a little annoying to me.

You know what's annoying to me?  Not realizing you don't need some fur ball on the sidelines to get kids hooked on Michigan football or to become lifelong maize and blue fanatics.  It's been working pretty darn well the last 130+ years without one.

"Picture time, Youth Demo!  Go Blue!"

The reaction from the maize and blue faithful was equally as unenthusiastic and Brandon, like he did with the M/OSU scheduling scandal, backtracked, this time saying the idea is "not an active project."

But this isn't about pictures with mascots, or even "youth demographics."  It's about mom and dad's money.  Because college football is big business.  And slapping some furry creature on toddler tees and sippy cups will bring in a couple extra bucks.   But doesn't being at a school which has sold out the biggest college football stadium in the land each and every game since 1975 - with seat licensing fees tacked on to ticket prices to boot - buy a program at least a little bit of a buffer against shit that sounds like something bandied about in a marketing meeting and thrown against the wall (or sent out with 2-for-1 coupons) to see if the idea sticks?

Look, I realize that traditions need to evolve.  That's why I supported The Big House renovation and upgrades but hated the ring around the stadium.  That's the reason I love the idea of a night game but hate the cheesy-ass "retro" jersey money grab that was tacked on to it.  Being able to tell the difference between upgrading tradition and upending it is the key.

And how does one know the answer to that?  I liken it to the old supreme court definition of pornography: I know it when I see it.  But most importantly, Michigan needs its AD to know it.

You cannot be serious! MZone uncovers inspiration for throwback jerseys

It's no secret that I'm not exactly in love with the throwback jerseys unveiled last week.

As has already been discussed here and elsewhere, they're not throwbacks to anything Michigan has worn in the past, try as some might to sell them as such (key word: sell).

Yet I couldn't help thinking I'd seen them before, or at least their forefathers.  Just not on a football field.  But where?

Then I was clicking through the channels over the weekend and stumbled upon an HBO special on the tennis rivalry between Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe.

And there it was.

Judging by the pictures below, apparently these jerseys are throwbacks to wood racket tennis circa 1980.

Throwback jerseys? More like throw-away jerseys

UPDATE: It's official.

(pic via @GerdOZone)

We've been so caught up in gleefully ribbing our Big 10 Buckeye brethren about the swirling scandal in C-bus that we haven't weighed in yet on the "throwback" jerseys set to be unveiled tonight for this year's Michigan-Notre Dame game.  So, without further adieu, here are the jerseys, which were mistakenly leaked on the MDen (pic via MnB)...

...And here's our review:

Those suck ass.

Seriously, we could get all Project Runway* on this crap and tell you why, but we're working under the assumption here at the MZone that our readers have eyeballs and use them when visiting our site.  Hence, is there really a need to break it down on an aesthetic level?

In general, I hate throwback jerseys - even when the design isn't as obnoxious as the one above.  Because they are nothing - NOTHING - more than a money grab.  Period.  As Brian said best of all:

Tomorrow we'll enter the ranks of schools that dress up like clowns for a little bit of money from a shoe company.

Plus, I believe such eyesores detract from the game day experience.

Unfortunately, the powers that be at Michigan and the other schools which agree to bastardize their uniforms for a couple extra bucks apparently confuse what keeps fans coming back for the game vs. what keeps folks returning for the game day experience:  The game itself is about the unexpected while the game day experience is all about the expected.

So much of college football at programs like Michigan and many others is about the traditions.  The conditioned emotional response of the familiar.  The chills one feels when the team runs under the giant "Go Blue" sign or when the band plays The Victors or when the fans hold up their car keys to drown out the opposition on 4th and inches come from a lifetime of consistent acquired memories.

That's not being old fashioned, that's respecting and understating the foundation that keeps 100,000+ people coming each and every football Saturday to The Big House.

Thus, while the term "throwback" is supposed to imply a link to a school's storied past, the term is nothing but trickeration.  Such uniforms have nothing to do with honoring the past or instilling new memories.  Instead, it's all about lining pockets at the expense of those things.  They are not nostalgic, they're gimmicks.  The only reason they call them "Throwbacks" is because "Additional Revenue Stream" jerseys would be too off-putting.

ONE FINAL THOUGHT

If the picture at the top of this post does indeed turn out to be the monstrosity spit forth tonight, how fucking bad were the rejected designs?  Because in order to come out as the final product, the maize and blue pigeon dropping above must have been up against some runner-up choices like this...

 

Actually, neither of these are much worse.

* Don't give me shit about the Project Runway reference.  Because if you have a wife or girlfriend, you've had to take one for the team at some point and sit through an episode of this eye-gouger.

MZone Exclusive: "Michigan Plane" Makes Secret Stop in Coaching Search

If you've been following this or other Michigan blogs during The Great Coaching Search of 2011, you know that many U-M fans have been scouring flight tracking websites in order try to figure out where AD Dave Brandon's travels are taking him and, thus, who he's talking to about Michigan's vacant head coaching position.

Much of the tracking chatter has centered on a wealthy alum's so-called "Michigan plane" that has been spending a lot of time in Baton Rouge, home of LSU and potential coaching candidate Les Miles.

But the MZone has learned that's not even close to the most interesting stop for this private jet.

When Dave Brandon said he was conducting a national search, he wasn't kidding.  The MZone has obtained the exclusive video below of an until-now secret stop on Brandon's far reaching quest to replace the fired Rich Rodriguez.

Folks, after you watch, we think you'll agree that Michigan's AD is leaving no stone unturned to find the best coach.

In Plane Sight

As Michigan's coaching search enters its make-or-break week, in a desperate need to fill the information vacuum, I love all the folks using flight data like a Ouija board.   I've gotten a few good laughs reading all the chatter about some dude (it's always a dude) going to PeopleWhoUsedToListenToPoliceScannersButNowTrackFlights.org, finding any flight leaving any airport within 60 miles of Ann Arbor, then using the flight's ultimate destination to make a prediction about about who Michigan is talking to with about as much accuracy as Kirk Herbstreit. 

From GoBlueNbyNWfan: A small crop duster piloted by man wearing an "M" hat left Willow Run airport yesterday then flew real low over a farm outside Monroe.  Pretty sure this means UM interested in 3rd generation wheat farmer Bill Simmowitz or the ghost of Cary Grant.

My favorite Flight Tracker story thus far the one on Friday about this plane...



...being spotted in Baton Rouge, home of LSU, before departing the same day.

The plane is owned by Richard H. Rogel, a financially well-endowed Michigan alum who personally donated $22 million to the school in 2004.  According to the SportsByBrooks link above, Rogel is also a member of the U-M’s “Director’s Cabinet in the Department of Intercollegiate Athletics.”

Naturally, this meant the flight had something to do with Michigan pursuing Tiger coach Les Miles for its coaching vacancy.  Just one little problem with that conclusion: Miles - along with probably anybody else in the LSU athletic department one would reasonably expect to discuss the matter with if it was true - was in Dallas for LSU's Cotton Bowl game that day. 

But I'm more skeptical for a totally different reason.

I think we can all agree that Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon is playing this so close to the vest that his lips probably won't know the choice until the name of the new coach leaves his mouth.  That's why I can't imagine anything close to this conversation taking place:

DAVE BRANDON:  I'm thinking about Les Miles to fill our coaching vacancy so I'm going to Baton Rouge tomorrow.  But if I fly commercial, everybody will see me on the plane, and in the airport, and it will spread like wildfire.  I was able to keep it a secret for 40 days that I was firing Rich Rod,  but I wouldn't be able to keep this a secret for 40 minutes if I did that.  Any suggestions?

RICHARD H. ROGEL:  You can borrow my private jet.

DAVE BRANDON:  You mean the bright maize and blue painted Gulfstream that looks like a giant flying Michigan football helmet?

RICHARD H. ROGEL:  Yep, that's the one.  And it plays The Victors out of huge speakers on the bottom of the plane and shoots maize and blue streamers out of the nosecone as it descends.

DAVE BRANDON:  Perfect. I'll be like a NAVY Seal - in and out before anybody even notices.

RICHARD H. ROGEL:  Absolutely.  One problem Dave - Les and the entire Tiger athletic department are in Dallas for LSU's Cotton Bowl game tomorrow.

DAVE BRANDON:  Oh, I know.  I'm going down there to feel it out first with Frank Tibbeleux who heads up the stadium janitorial staff.  Do my due diligence. Just don't tell anyone.

RICHARD H. ROGEL: Scout's honor, Dave.  I'll have the jet ready.

BREAKING NEWS: In addition to Les Miles and Jim Harbaguh, third generation wheat farmer Bill Simmowitz has also rejected an offer to coach at Michigan.

(HT: WH)

Michigan fans react to news about AD Dave Brandon's press conference

Coaching Conclave Continues in Ann Arbor

(from MZone wire reports) Ann Arbor, MI - Michigan fans remained gathered outside Schembechler Hall on Wednesday still waiting for a sign that athletic director Dave Brandon had made a decision regarding the Wolverine head coaching situation.

But the black smoke pouring out of the smoke stack atop Schembechler Hall indicated that Brandon's coaching conclave was continuing.  Wednesday marks the 40th day of Brandon's so-called "evaluation" of current coach Rich Rodriguez making it the longest known job review in recorded history.   

According to tradition, black smoke above Schembechler Hall indicates a coaching decision has not yet been made; white smoke indicates Rich Rodriguez has been fired; and maize and blue smoke along with streamers and lollipops shooting out of the piping would indicate that Jim Harbaugh is the new Michigan coach.

UPDATE: The smoke is now white as Rich Rod has maybe kinda in due time after another 40 day evaluation if Dave Brandon's Magic 8-Ball says so finally been fired.

Meanwhile, after every news outlet in Detroit erroneously announced that he had been fired on Tuesday, Rich Rodriguez celebrated at least one more day on the job by showing off the errant Free Press headline announcing his axing.

(HT to Mikoyan for the idea and RR 'Shop, HT to DC for the smoke pic. Thanks!)

Football Gods Decide to F*ck With Michigan Fans

(from MZone wire reports) MT. OLYMPUS - The college football gods wrapped up an epic 24 hour period Tuesday night of completely fucking with Michigan fans. Observers note they haven't seen this kind of cruel wrath directed at a fan base since the gods initially tricked Colorado fans into believing Dan Hawkins was a good hire.

The day started for Michigan with breaking news out of Ann Arbor that head coach Rich Rodriguez - who in three short years had turned the winningest program in college football history into the 38-point bitch of the 5th place SEC West team - had been fired by AD Dave Brandon. Then, rather than the gods allowing the news to be instantly corrected, they instead let it spread like a venereal disease at the Theta house via news outlets and the Internet.

Only after hopes of Harbaugh riding in to save the teetering program reached a fever pitch did the football gods crush U-M spirits with the knowledge that Rodriguez had actually not been fired and was still the head coach. Apparently after waiting some six weeks while working on his "evaluation" of Rich Rod and his future, the actual meeting to decide the outcome was, like the last Harry Potter film, a two-parter and was to be continued tomorrow. This marked the first time in recorded history that it's taken an AD longer than a Donald Trump divorce proceeding to make up his mind to remove or retain a football coach.

The suffering continued that night during the Sugar Bowl game between Michigan's hated rival Ohio State and Arkansas. First, all of the so-called Tat 5, played the entire game, their only punishment being forced to miss a minute of some pre-game stretching exercise.  Then the game started and it looked like a Buckeye blowout as they led the Hogs 28-10 at the half.  But following a furious comeback in the second half, Arkansas found themselves only down 31-26 with a minute left and about to get the ball back.  Unfortunately, they had no timeouts left and it looked like they were going to have to go the length of the field.

That's when the Razorback special teams blocked Tosu's punt giving QB Ryan Mallet and his offense a minute to score from deep inside Ohio State territory.  After the block, Michigan fans across the country let out a scream usually reserved for drug-induced sexual experiences. 

It looked as if the day for the Maize and Blue Faithful was going to at least end on a high note.

Instead, that's when the football gods dropped the hammer and made Mallet throw an INT on the very next play, clinching the victory for the Buckeyes.  The number of "motherf*cker!" shouts floating up into the heavens was still being tabulated at the time this column was written.

And the suffering for Michigan fans might not be over.

When reached for by the MZone at Mt. Olympus, Zeus Lombardi initially had no comment on what he and his fellow football gods had put Wolverine fans through on Tuesday. But then he laughed and cryptically added, "Wait until they see what happens next." Zeus Lombardi then excused himself saying he had to hurry down to Austin to keep fucking with Texas fans.