Downfall: OSU vacates entire 2010 season

More to come but had to get something up about the carnage in Columbus.  As you've probably heard by now, Ohio State vacated every win from its 2010 season and gave itself 2 years probation.

In a response submitted today to the NCAA, Ohio State admits allegations that then-coach Jim Tressel lied and allowed ineligible players to compete by failing to report that they had sold OSU-issued memorabilia to a tattoo-parlor owner.

But my favorite part of the Dispatch story linked above was this paragraph:

"The responsibility is upon Tressel. No other institutional personnel were aware" of the violations, and the former coach failed in his obligation to report them, the response says. "The institution is embarrassed by the actions of Tressel."

(emphasis MZone)

Gee, when your own school is "embarrassed" by you, that's pretty bad...and also a damn good excuse to repost Vestocchio!

Tresselgate: Our Blogging Cup Runneth Over

It's June. The last thing I should be doing in the wee hours of the night when I have to get up for work in the morning is blogging about college football. Did I mention it's June?

But just when I think I can take a break...Tresselgate pulls me back in!

JIM TRESSEL...COME ON DOWN!

(from MZone wire reports) Hollywood, CA -- Former Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel has already lined up his next job.  Not surprisingly, it involves being on TV with a microphone in hand.  But while, for most coaches, that usually means stepping into a sports broadcast booth, Tressel's microphone will be of the long, skinny variety.

The MZone has learned that the recently-resigned Buckeye coach will be replace Drew Carey as host of The Price is Right because "Tressel is simply better at giving away free cars" according to longtime Price producer Harvey Millsap.

"Tressel's probably given away more cars than Bob Barker did during the entire 104 years he hosted the show" explained Millsap.  "And like Barker, Tressel has that same, non-threatening 'old guy in the dessert line at Home Town Buffet' vibe about him."

Millsap also said several popular games on the long-running show will be updated or changed when Tressel takes over this summer.  Among them are "Hi Lo" and "That's Too Much!"

Currently in "Hi Lo," a contestant is shown six grocery items and asked to choose the three he believes are the highest-priced.  When Tressel arrives, the contestant will be shown six tattoos and asked to choose how many pairs of Gold Pants he'll have to trade for five of them.

The biggest change is coming to "That's Too Much!"  In the present version of the game, a contestant is shown up to ten prices for a car in ascending order of price. The contestant wins the car by correctly identifying the first revealed price which is higher than the actual price by calling out "That's Too Much!"

On Tressel's show, that format will be completely scrapped and retitled as "Phone a Booster!"  In the new version, each contestant will randomly call Ohio State fans in the Columbus area to see who will pay for the new car they just picked out at the local car dealership.  If the booster initially refuses, the contestant will yell, "Fuck Michigan!" until the booster changes his mind and pays for the car.

(HT to KK whose FB post inspired this idea)


DUDE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WRITE SOME NEW LYRICS

Last October, we introduced you to a pro-OSU, pro-Tressel video that was so gloriously, jaw-droppingly bad it was Showgirls-esque.  In light of recent events, it begs for a re-posting.

Looks like it's time to write a new tune, Mascot Man.



I know, right? Rest assured, this may not be the last time I post this. Simply classic.

REST THE VEST

My former blogging cohort, Benny (respect) sent me the following tidbit he saw on Uni Watch.

The Fort Myers Miracle, the minor league baseball affiliate of the Minnesota Twins, is holding a "Rest the Vest" night on June 6th.  According to their press release, "

The Fort Myers Miracle feel the disappointment and anger of the Ohio State University football fan today and want to help ease the pain. So the time to move on from the Jim Tressel era is now!

The new coach of the Buckeyes presumably will not wear sweater vests on the sidelines; so it's time to retire them. Fans are encouraged to bring their sweater vest and place it in the retirement bin near the front gate of Hammond Stadium.

Patrons willingly letting go of the prized possession will have the opportunity to participate in a test drive of a beautiful sports car from Classic Cars of Florida.

The Miracle want everyone to enjoy the "Rest the Vest" Night and even though you might not have a favorite sweater vest, if you have a tattoo then you also benefit.

Just by showing a tattoo, Ohio State or non-related, fans will receive a piece of Miracle memorabilia to keep or sell.

We know it has been a long saga that has affected Buckeye Nation, but let the Miracle help with your move into the Luke Fickell era.

Why the Florida-based minor league baseball affiliate of the Minnesota Twins is concerned with events in Columbus is beyond me, but who am I to judge?

MZone Exclusive: New Ohio State Logo

In the wake of Tressel's resignation and the ongoing scandal swirling in C-bus, the MZone has learned that Ohio State will be changing their traditional logo - "Ohio State" across a block "O" - to something a little more honest.

The Best of Tresselgate

In the wake of Ohio State coach Jim Tressel's quitting before he got fired resignation, we put a few of our favorite posts about the scandal in one convenient place for all your linkage needs.

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

The MZone

SCRIPT O-LIE-O!

TRESSELGATE DOUBLE FEATURE

And back for a special return engagement:

TRESSEL-I-AM

Two weeks ago - before Yahoo! Sports posted a story claiming that Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel knew about Buckeye players trading merchandise for free tattoos more than eight months before the school said it was made aware of the allegations - The Vest was photographed reading Dr. Seuss books to a group of school children in Ohio:

Well, in light of the recent allegations in C-bus, may we suggest the following for The Vest's next reading to the kids:

 An excerpt:

We looked!
Then we saw him step in on the mat!
We looked!
And we saw him!
Terrelle and his tats!
And he said to us,
"Why do you sit there like that?
I know it is wet
And the sun is not sunny.
But we can have lots of fun
Lots of fun with booster money!"


"I know some good bars to go to,"
Said the QB.
"We can drive in the new car
The new car dealer just loaned me!
We will take the car, take the car out for a ride.
My coach
Does not care, so I have nothing to hide!"


Then Sally and I
Did not know what to say.
But Terrelle said Coach Tressel
Would look the other way.


But our fish said, "No! No!
Make Terrelle go away!
Tell that Cat with the Tats
You do NOT want to play.
He should not be here,
He should be on probation!
He should be suspended
With the rest of Buckeye Nation!"


"Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!" said the QB
"I won't get caught
Since my coach just ignores me.
Why, we can have
Lots of fun doing my thing
With a game that I call
Selling my championship ring!"

An excerpt:

I do not like the game's laws and its rules
I do not like them, they're only for fools
I did not like them during the days of Clarett
I do not like them nor have been busted just yet
I let Terrelle Pryor get his free tats
Then claimed, "Oh, I did not know about that!"
I do not like the rules they have about class
The N-C-A-A can kiss my Vest-wearing ass
I do not like the rules out on the field
And if we get busted, I'll surely appeal
I do not like the rules here in the 'Shoe
And our fans do not care as long as I beat the Blue
I do not like rules here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!


REDLINED FIRST DRAFT OF OSU LETTER TO NCAA

Yesterday, we printed in full Ohio State's letter to the NCAA regarding Tresselgate.   Since then, portions of an earlier draft of the letter have been leaked.  Initially, in addition to missing the first two games of the 2011 season and paying a $250,000 fine, Ohio State officials considered banning Coach Jim Tressel from spring practice and summer camps.

And that's not the only shocker.

In the MZone exclusive below, we have obtained a copy of the heavily edited rough draft of the last "Conclusion" paragraph of that letter.  As you'll discover, significant changes were made before it was submitted.

The institution was wondering when the other shoe was gonna fall regarding the charade that is Cheaty McSweaterVest.  How the hell it took this long is beyond us is very surprised and disappointed in Coach Tressel's lack of action in this matter.  His behavior in this situation is par for the course out of character from him and is contrary to his proven history of saying one thing in those bullshit self-righteous books he pawns while doing another behind the scenes of promoting an atmosphere of NCAA compliance within the football program.  Since this shit has been going on ever since his hiring as the head football coach in 2001 (i.e. Maurice Clarett, Troy Smith, etc.), he and his staff have ignored attended the NCAA rules education sessions on a consistent basis, regularly made up sought interpretations, and self-reported an almost laughably huge fuckload of nearly 400 secondary violations.  His lack of truthfulness action in this matter appears to have been the result of thinking he was above the rules and wouldn't get caught as usual indecisiveness regarding the appropriate actions to take in this specific situation in which he was placed if you can even begin to wrap your head around what a huge set of stones it took to even try to pass that nonsense off as a plausible excuse, as opposed to a blatant disregard of NCAA legislation stretching back to his Youngstown State days.  Nevertheless, we recognize that because he wins a lot of games and beats Michigan, we look the other way when we can and offer the insulting slap on the wrist punishment in this letter now  that he should have forwarded this information in some manner to appropriate institutional officials.  With the exception of this mistake that you know about, he is a man  of integrity and high moral standards if you set the bar somewhere between, say, Pete Carroll and the SMU program during the Eric Dickerson years. 

This institution really hopes you'll buy the ginormous load of horse shit in this letter in the same way you shockingly believed the whole 'Cam Newton didn't know' steaming pile appreciates the cooperation of your staff in this inquiry.

Suckers, Sincerely,

Larry Gordon Gee, President

Moe John Bruno, Faculty Athletics Representative

Curly Gene Smith, Director of Athletics

cc: The assclown who tried to fuck with The Game 

    Mr. James E. Delany

MZone exclusive: Ray Small goes to class

OSU fans react to Small breaking Columbus Code of Omerta

Rings, cars, tattoos, exclusive discounts, extra cash??

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... old news for the Ohio State Football program these days. The real shocking story out of Columbus this morning is the fact that Ray Small is actually attending classes, something he very rarely did when he was a member of the football team. In fact, we here at the MZone have obtained an exclusive image of Ray Small going to class this morning.

According to the Ohio State Student newspaper The Lantern:

In his four years in scarlet and gray, Small – who is back at OSU pursuing a degree in sociology – totaled 61 receptions for 659 yards and three touchdowns. He returned a fourth-quarter punt 69 yards for a touchdown to seal a 26-14 victory against Ohio University on Sept. 6, 2008. Small spent time on the practice squads of the Indianapolis Colts, Minnesota Vikings and Washington Redskins.

In case you have not seen the story with the other boring stuff about program wide rules violations and omnipresent buckeye discounts, check it out here. As you are reading this, keep in mind: the NCAA rules are stupid, everyone is doing it, you are just jealous, these kids are poor and need tattoos & nice cars, Jim Tressel loves his players and was just trying to protect them, and Michigan sucks.

Now Playing in the MZone Theater: CARS (no, not that one)

Inspired by the latest crisis in Columbus, this one involving used cars, Hollywood has rushed a new movie into theaters this week.  Luckily, the MZone was able to obtain an exclusive look at the poster.

It tolls for thee...

The Columbus Dispatch: emails were forwarded...not to someone inside the athletic department, not to Ohio State's legal team, but instead to TP's "mentor" in Jeannette. So much for confidentiality during a "federal investigation" or "not knowing who to partner with".

At this point, anyone who believes the Gordon Gee or Gene Smith to be competent or capable of making the correct leadership choices should have their head examined. The NCAA is going to obliterate them.

Guest Post: Tressocchio or Vestocchio?

MZone reader Josh sent us an email with some photoshopped pix saying, "It's uncanny the resemblance Tre$$el has to other famous liars."

While they were all good, this one still has me laughing.  I think we've found a new official pic-slash-avatar for the Tosu head coach.  Simply outstanding.

Only question is what's his name: Tressocchio or Vestocchio?

MZone Exclusive: Redlined First Draft of OSU Letter to NCAA

Yesterday, we printed in full Ohio State's letter to the NCAA regarding Tresselgate.   Since then, portions of an earlier draft of the letter have been leaked.  Initially, in addition to missing the first two games of the 2011 season and paying a $250,000 fine, Ohio State officials considered banning Coach Jim Tressel from spring practice and summer camps.

And that's not the only shocker.

In the MZone exclusive below, we have obtained a copy of the heavily edited rough draft of the last "Conclusion" paragraph of that letter.  As you'll discover, significant changes were made before it was submitted.

The institution was wondering when the other shoe was gonna fall regarding the charade that is Cheaty McSweaterVest.  How the hell it took this long is beyond us is very surprised and disappointed in Coach Tressel's lack of action in this matter.  His behavior in this situation is par for the course out of character from him and is contrary to his proven history of saying one thing in those bullshit self-righteous books he pawns while doing another behind the scenes of promoting an atmosphere of NCAA compliance within the football program.  Since this shit has been going on ever since his hiring as the head football coach in 2001 (i.e. Maurice Clarett, Troy Smith, etc.), he and his staff have ignored attended the NCAA rules education sessions on a consistent basis, regularly made up sought interpretations, and self-reported an almost laughably huge fuckload of nearly 400 secondary violations.  His lack of truthfulness action in this matter appears to have been the result of thinking he was above the rules and wouldn't get caught as usual indecisiveness regarding the appropriate actions to take in this specific situation in which he was placed if you can even begin to wrap your head around what a huge set of stones it took to even try to pass that nonsense off as a plausible excuse, as opposed to a blatant disregard of NCAA legislation stretching back to his Youngstown State days.  Nevertheless, we recognize that because he wins a lot of games and beats Michigan, we look the other way when we can and offer the insulting slap on the wrist punishment in this letter now  that he should have forwarded this information in some manner to appropriate institutional officials.  With the exception of this mistake that you know about, he is a man  of integrity and high moral standards if you set the bar somewhere between, say, Pete Carroll and the SMU program during the Eric Dickerson years. 

This institution really hopes you'll buy the ginormous load of horse shit in this letter in the same way you shockingly believed the whole 'Cam Newton didn't know' steaming pile appreciates the cooperation of your staff in this inquiry.

Suckers, Sincerely,

Larry Gordon Gee, President

Moe John Bruno, Faculty Athletics Representative

Curly Gene Smith, Director of Athletics

cc: The assclown who tried to fuck with The Game 

    Mr. James E. Delany

MZone Word of the Day: Tresselness

Truthiness (noun)- a "truth" that a person claims to know intuitively "from the gut" without regard to evidence, logic, intellectual examination, or facts.

If you're a fan of The Colbert Report, you're probably familiar with the word above which was popularized by the Comedy Central show.

Well, in the wake of Tresselgate, we here at the MZone would like to introduce our own Word of the Day:

Tresselness

1. Not admitting you're wrong even after you've been caught
2. Feigning ignorance regarding well-established rules you should be fully aware of in your position
3. Misleading those trying to get to the bottom of a scandal

(see also Nixonian)

The emails might not be the most damning part: OSU's letter to the NCAA

Below is the letter detailing the "self-report violation" that OSU sent to the NCAA regarding Tresselgate-slash-Tatgate-slash-They'reFuckedAnd2GamesAin'tGonnaCutIt.

While much attention has focused on the emails between Tressel and a no-longer-anonymous Columbus attorney, think the document below (and the questions raised reading it) may hint that Tosu's and Tressel's aren't over.

Let me just say I will be shocked if the NCAA rubber stamps Tosu's self-imposed wrist slap penalties of a 2 game suspension and $250,000 fine for The Vest.

UPDATE: MZone reader and admitted Buckeye, Dennis, put up a comment that deserved main page status:

Maybe Tressel didn't know who to confide in since they can't even figure out where to sign their names on the letter. sigh

UPDATE II: Matt Hayes at The Sporting News agrees: the letter could be the dagger. (HT: MGoBlog)

Profiles in Leadership: OSU President Gordon Gee

From Tuesday's press conference in Columbus:

REPORTER:  Did you ever consider firing Coach Tressel?

GORDON GEE:  "No.  Are you kidding?  I'm just hoping the coach doesn't dismiss me."

Now Playing at the MZone Theater: Tresselgate Double Feature!

And back for a special return engagement:

The Vest's Emails at the Heart of Tresselgate

So, how damaging (or not) are the emails at the center of the Tresselgate controversy swirling in C-bus?

You be the judge.

Below, in chronological order, are the emails between head coach Jim "Not Quite So Teflon" Tressel and an unnamed attorney from last April and June.  The emails - with portions blocked out - were released by Tosu officials at the press conference yesterday.

Tressel-I-am!

Two weeks ago - before Yahoo! Sports posted a story claiming that Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel knew about Buckeye players trading merchandise for free tattoos more than eight months before the school said it was made aware of the allegations - The Vest was photographed reading Dr. Seuss books to a group of school children in Ohio:

Well, in light of the recent allegations in C-bus, may we suggest the following for The Vest's next reading to the kids:

 An excerpt:

We looked!
Then we saw him step in on the mat!
We looked!
And we saw him!
Terrelle and his tats!
And he said to us,
"Why do you sit there like that?
I know it is wet
And the sun is not sunny.
But we can have lots of fun
Lots of fun with booster money!"


"I know some good bars to go to,"
Said the QB.
"We can drive in the new car
The new car dealer just loaned me!
We will take the car, take the car out for a ride.
My coach
Does not care, so I have nothing to hide!"


Then Sally and I
Did not know what to say.
But Terrelle said Coach Tressel
Would look the other way.


But our fish said, "No! No!
Make Terrelle go away!
Tell that Cat with the Tats
You do NOT want to play.
He should not be here,
He should be on probation!
He should be suspended
With the rest of Buckeye Nation!"


"Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!" said the QB
"I won't get caught
Since my coach just ignores me.
Why, we can have
Lots of fun doing my thing
With a game that I call
Selling my championship ring!"

An excerpt:

I do not like the game's laws and its rules
I do not like them, they're only for fools
I did not like them during the days of Clarett
I do not like them nor have been busted just yet
I let Terrelle Pryor get his free tats
Then claimed, "Oh, I did not know about that!"
I do not like the rules they have about class
The N-C-A-A can kiss my Vest-wearing ass
I do not like the rules out on the field
And if we get busted, I'll surely appeal
I do not like the rules here in the 'Shoe
And our fans do not care as long as I beat the Blue
I do not like rules here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

MZone Exclusive: NCAA video of Tressel's response to allegations

The college football blogosphere blew up last after Yahoo! Sports posted a story claiming that Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel knew about Buckeye players trading merchandise for free tattoos more than eight months before school said it was made aware of the allegations.

But in an investigative story of our own, the MZone has obtained the exclusive NCAA video below in which Tressel claims he is shocked - SHOCKED! - to hear that there may have been cheating going on behind his back.

Uhhh.... I am sorry, no really I am.

After watching this video, I could not help but ask myself: What is it that these remorseful buckeyes could possibly be looking down at during this emotional and gut wrenching press conference?

Thanks to the power of the internet, I did some quick investigative work and came up with the answer.

MZone Exclusive: Brutus latest Buckeye busted in Tatgate

(from MZone wire reports) Columbus, OH - The Tatgate scandal in Columbus continues to grow.

Last week, five Ohio State football players - including star QB Terrelle Pryor - were suspended for the first five games of the 2011 season for receiving improper benefits, including tattoos for autographs.  Now, another Buckeye has admitted to improperly benefiting from his association to Ohio State football: Brutus Buckeye.

The MZone has learned that the long-time Ohio State mascot received free tattoos at the same parlor as the other busted Buckeyes in exchange for his autograph, the small white Tosu towel he covers his crotch with, and one so-called Akron Steamer.  As you can see in our exclusive photos below, Brutus got "sleaved" on both arms and had a "tramp stamp" tattooed on his lower back.

Brutus also sold his trophy for being named one of the eight finalists in the Capitol One Mascot of the Year contest and a urine-colored trinket the once-beloved Buckeye mascot gets each season if he doesn't get his ass kicked by another mascot.  He sold the trophy for $63.89 cents and his 2009 urine-colored-jewelry thingee for $11.95 on eBay. 

While many Buckeye fans said Brutus should immediately be banned from the OSU sidelines and not be allowed on the field for the team's upcoming Sugar Bowl appearance, Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith was quick to leap to the mascot's defense, saying the punishment should be mitigated because of how Brutus used the money he received.

“The time this occurred with Brutus was a very tough time in our society. It’s one of the toughest economic environments in our history,” Smith said. “The decisions that he made he made to help his family, feed the poor, and cure childhood illness in Somali.”

Smith also started to say some other ridiculous shit but was cut off by school officials before he could further make an ass out of himself.

Et tu, Brutus?

What else would Brutus's tramp stamp say?

Props to Ohio State Fans: Yes, you read that correctly

ED. NOTE:  No drugs or alcohol were consumed prior to the writing of this post (although I did inhale a copious amount of exhaust fumes yesterday while stuck in a shopping mall parking structure traffic jam for so long I thought there was a 50/50 chance I could up as a segment on DATELINE).

Okay, this is going to be a very short post as it pains me to type it, but...

From what I've read on several Buckeye-biased outlets, I've been shocked - and frankly impressed - that a large portion of Buckeye Nation Unincorporated Township feel Terrelle and his tatted teammates should not play in the Sugar Bowl even if the NCAA says it's permissible.  From the Columbus Dispatch, to the Tosu student newspaper The Daily Crayon The Lantern, to the regular Buckeye readers of the MZone, it seems a great many who bleed Scarlet and Gray are voicing the opinion that TP et. al embarrassed themselves and their school, and thus shouldn't play in the Sugar Bowl, even if the loss of several star players could cost Tosu the game.

Sure, some are questioning the severity of the five game suspension.  With so many opinions on these here Interwebs, that's to be expected.  But very few, to my knowledge, are making excuses for the players or minimizing their actions.  Surprisingly, about the only ones doing that seemed to be coach Jim Tressel and OSU AD Gene Smith.

Instead, many of the Ohio State faithful are saying the to-be-suspended players don't deserve to wear the Scarlet and Gray in the bowl game.  This stands in stark contrast to what I've read - or more precisely, haven't read - from Auburn outlets regarding the Cam Newton situation (and by "situation" I mean his father shopping him around for $180K and Cam "not knowing").

Unless I missed it, not only was there no outcry, there was a circle-the-wagons mentality against the accusations and any accusers. 

So...props...Buck...eye...fans...who... support... doing... the... right... thing.

Shit, that was difficult to type.

Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled mission of mocking the Bucks and its fans.

MZone Exclusive: How Terrelle Pryor spent his spring break

Most college kids spend spring break in a drunken state of debauchery.

But not Ohio State student-athlete Terrelle Pryor. 

The MZone has obtained this exclusive picture of the Buckeye QB peddling his wares outside one of the resorts near Cancun last spring break in order to provide for his family.

"Tell you what, buy the gold pants and I'll throw in this ring."

Tats Hats off to you, Terrelle, for being such a hardworking entrepreneur.

(HT: JW)