Obese Buckeye fan gets stuck in doorway after shoplifting, then tased

Why T9 thought this warranted but a small blurb on his Delicious Buffet to the right, I'll never know.  I trust you'll see why I bumped it up, stat.

According to NYDailyNews.com:

A 400-pound Michigan woman was busted for shoplifting--and later hit with a Taser-- when her motorized cart got stuck in a supermarket's door, according to police.

Jerrie Perkins, 30, allegedly tried to steal more than $600 worth of electronic merchandise from a Meijer in Rochester Hills last week.

As she attempted to drive out of the supermarket in her cart, the door's alarm was activated. Perkins became hostile when Meijer employees approached her and asked for her receipt.

The 5-foot-2 woman shoved a loss-prevention officer and hit her in the face, the Oakland County sheriff's office told The Oakland Press.

When authorities asked her to put her hands behind her back, she cursed, according to a press release from the sheriff's department, "balled her right hand into a fist and took a fighting stance."

Twice Perkins was asked to put her hands behind her back before deputies zapped her with the Taser.

On her Friendster account, Perkins describes herself as a singer/songwriter/deejay with "a little extra weight."

She was released on $15,000 bail and charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud.

So, why did we do a story about a female shoplifter in Michigan?  Well, check out the pic below:  apparently Ms. Jenkins is a "big" Buckeye fan.

As far as we know, the only basketball in this photo is the orange and white one
being held by the woman in black

Now, there is so much to discuss about this story, I'm not sure where to begin.  So let's just dive in, shall we?

First of all, in the NYDailyNews.com article linked above, their caption under the pic above reads:

Jerrie Perkins, 30, right, attempt to steal from a Meijer in Michigan was foiled when she got stuck in the doorway, police said. 

Perkins is the one on the right?  No shit.  Gee, thanks for clearing that up.   

And I love this line in the initial news story:

On her Friendster account, Perkins describes herself as a singer/songwriter/deejay with "a little extra weight."

Uh, who the hell has a Friendster account?  What is a Friendster account?   Isn't that like a place where swinger's meet?  Can any of our readers in The Lifestyle clear that up for me?


And "a little extra weight"?  Come! On!  Weighing 400 pounds and having to get around on a scooter is not " a little extra weight."  I know we all exaggerate online but that's like Gerg Robinson saying his defense had "a couple lapses" last season.


Finally, I see she was charged with unarmed robbery, second-degree retail fraud, and resisting and obstructing a police officer.  "Obstructing"  a police officer?  Okay, that's just being mean now.


Hey, what is the female equiv of the Buckstache?