Kenny Mayne

These days, I generally try to avoid ESPN as much as possible (Sportscenter included), because most of their programming isn't that good. So while I knew Kenny Mayne was back on Sportscenter, I hadn't really seen him on it yet.

But a couple of nights ago I watched part of Sportscenter with him on it, and it reminded me so much about why Kenny Mayne is my favorite thing about ESPN. The guy is hilarious.

Here is a sampling of a mere 20 minutes of Sportscenter that I watched:

- "Maicer Izturis, no relation to Al Newman."
- "Barry Bonds with homerun #735. Not this season, that would be a record."
- "He hit that ball over some fencing they put up in the outfield prior to the game."
- "He was traded for a player to be named later. Right now no one knows his name, they just say 'What's up big guy?'"

Again, this was in like 20 minutes, and I was laughing my head off.
*Note: It was like 1:45 in the morning when I started watching.
*Note 2: Then again, it is like 1:00 in the morning as I type this.

So if having Kenny Mayne back on Sportscenter was all a cunning ruse just to get me to watch again, well, it may work. He's the best.

Other Mayne quotes from throughout the years (many from The Sportscenter Altar):

- "I am amused by the simplicity of this game."
- "Tell 'em what they've won...it's an American League baseball game."
- "We're gonna show it again, cause we have editing equipment."
- "But we all know that games aren't played on paper...they are played by little men inside our TV sets." (this could be the best ever)
- "Jeff Gordon takes the checkered flag, and he'll have to give it back for the next race."
- "Now on to tackle football news..." (Note: I just like the shtick where he calls it 'tackle football' or 'ice hockey')
- "We show you this to see how women 18-34 feel about the play."
- "Portions of this game were taped for training purposes..."
- "He scored [number] off the bench. Had he been on the bench, he'd have been out of bounds."
- "That's his first homerun. The media pressure will be intense for his second."
- "He makes the restaurant-quality play."
- "[Football player] has decided to tackle people on behalf of the [NFL team]. Terms of the contract are not disclosed, but we believe it has something to do with money."

Thoughts? Do you like Mayne as much as I do?