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Nothing like a good ol' fashioned scandal in Columbus to pull us back to the MZone blogging machine.  Behold our latest creation...




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O.P.P. - Other Programs' Problems

HONK AT LSU FOOTBALL PLAYERS AT YOUR OWN RISK

Four LSU football players, including starting QB Jordan Jefferson, were involved in a bar fight that was "caused" when some poor sap honked at a group of people blocking his exit from the bar parking lot.

Now, rather than giving there side of the story, they're lawyering up.

Coach Les "The Mad Clapper" Miles apologized for the fight and said it occurred after the entire team checked in for last Thursday's 10:30 p.m. curfew.  Oops.

Now, if ol' Lester really is a disciple of Bo Schembechler, as he claims to be, then this should be fairly easy for Miles to deal with.  Put it this way, if Les had pulled this shit when he played for Bo, he'd be so far in the dog house, the fleas would have a better chance of seeing the field before Les did.

But the 4th ranked LSU Tigers open the season on September 3rd against the 3rd ranked Oregon Ducks at Cowboy Stadium.  Put up or shut up, Les.

You Know You're Screwed When They're Talking About Your Troubles in Taiwan

I didn't even think they knew about American college football in Taiwan.  But apparently Miami's transgressions were so egregious they warranted the full-on Taiwanese animation treatment, an honor usually reserved for bigger, more worldly stories such as the cancellation of the George Lopez show and Abercrombie & Fitch giving the ditch to "The Sitch."

Eat your heart out, OSU*



(via EDSBS)

Sodom & Gomorrah vs. Miami

In case you missed it (and the only way you could have is if ESPN is your primary source of college football news), the Miami Hurricane football program has been doing its best SMU impression over the last decade or so.  From cash, to prostitutes to abortions (yes, you read that correctly), a convicted felon lavished untold amounts of funds and flesh on the 'Cane program which could lead to the dreaded "death penalty" for Miami.

Seriously, it was so bad I bet when Barry Switzer heard about what was going on at "The U," even he went, "Are f*cking serious?!  Holy crap, that place is crooked."

Apparently, the illegal benefits started in 2002, making the 2003 Miami/Ohio State Fiesta Bowl BCS Championship Game probably the most tainted title game in NCAA history (sorry, Tosu fans, I'm just taking Mo' Clarett at his word).

As a Michigan fan, I don't really have a horse in this race except from the broad "integrity of the game" perspective.  But I did chafe when I saw an article on the scandal talking about what it saw as the problems in college football as evidenced by all the recent NCAA violations at big name programs such as Miami, USC, Ohio State...and Michigan.

Yes, because those are all so equal.  It's like getting lumped in with the Boston Strangler because you were convicted of a jaywalking ticket.  I'm reminded of the old Sesame Street tune, "One of these things is not like the others.  One of these things just doesn't belong..."

How bad were things at Miami?  Put it this way, there really is no comparison to other college football programs.  That's why we here at the MZone have compared their transgressions to the only places even close to what went on there: the biblical towns of Sodom and Gomorrah.

                                        MIAMI                                               SODOM & GOMORRAH

ILLICIT SEX:                     ✔                                                                     ✔

PROSTITUTION:                ✔                                                                     ✔

JET SKIS:                         ✔

ABORTIONS:                     ✔                                                               PROBABLY

TURN PEOPLE
INTO PILLARS                                                                                          ✔
OF SALT:                                                                                      

FREE TVs:                         ✔

ANGEL RAPE:                                                                                           ✔

LAP DANCES BY
BY STRIPPER                     ✔                                                                    
NAMED ANGEL:

GENERAL
WICKEDNESS:                  ✔                                                                      ✔

DESTROYED BY
THE LORD:                                                                                               ✔

ABOUT TO BE
DESTROYED BY              ✔
THE NCAA:

MZone Summer Close-Out Contest: Predict the Penalty in C-bus

As we get set to close out the off-season and turn our attention to Meeeechigan's 2011 campaign, we would be remiss if we didn't take at least one more look back at all the problems at Tosu* which have provided us with so much material during the summer.  If not for Tatgate-turned-Tresselgate, we'd have gone dark more times than that Spider-Man musical on Broadway.

With Tosu* set to go before the NCAA committee on infractions August 12th, frequent contributor SiC suggested we have a contest in which MZone readers attempt to predict what further penalties (if any) will be leveled against the Buckeyes.

Excellent idea!

So gaze into your crystal balls and let us know whether you think the NCAA is going to drop the hammer or give Gene Smith & Co. a big ol' sloppy wet kiss.

Personally, I think it'll go something like this...

It's Chinatown
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"It's Columbustown, Jake."