Throwback jerseys? More like throw-away jerseys

UPDATE: It's official.

(pic via @GerdOZone)

We've been so caught up in gleefully ribbing our Big 10 Buckeye brethren about the swirling scandal in C-bus that we haven't weighed in yet on the "throwback" jerseys set to be unveiled tonight for this year's Michigan-Notre Dame game.  So, without further adieu, here are the jerseys, which were mistakenly leaked on the MDen (pic via MnB)...

...And here's our review:

Those suck ass.

Seriously, we could get all Project Runway* on this crap and tell you why, but we're working under the assumption here at the MZone that our readers have eyeballs and use them when visiting our site.  Hence, is there really a need to break it down on an aesthetic level?

In general, I hate throwback jerseys - even when the design isn't as obnoxious as the one above.  Because they are nothing - NOTHING - more than a money grab.  Period.  As Brian said best of all:

Tomorrow we'll enter the ranks of schools that dress up like clowns for a little bit of money from a shoe company.

Plus, I believe such eyesores detract from the game day experience.

Unfortunately, the powers that be at Michigan and the other schools which agree to bastardize their uniforms for a couple extra bucks apparently confuse what keeps fans coming back for the game vs. what keeps folks returning for the game day experience:  The game itself is about the unexpected while the game day experience is all about the expected.

So much of college football at programs like Michigan and many others is about the traditions.  The conditioned emotional response of the familiar.  The chills one feels when the team runs under the giant "Go Blue" sign or when the band plays The Victors or when the fans hold up their car keys to drown out the opposition on 4th and inches come from a lifetime of consistent acquired memories.

That's not being old fashioned, that's respecting and understating the foundation that keeps 100,000+ people coming each and every football Saturday to The Big House.

Thus, while the term "throwback" is supposed to imply a link to a school's storied past, the term is nothing but trickeration.  Such uniforms have nothing to do with honoring the past or instilling new memories.  Instead, it's all about lining pockets at the expense of those things.  They are not nostalgic, they're gimmicks.  The only reason they call them "Throwbacks" is because "Additional Revenue Stream" jerseys would be too off-putting.

ONE FINAL THOUGHT

If the picture at the top of this post does indeed turn out to be the monstrosity spit forth tonight, how fucking bad were the rejected designs?  Because in order to come out as the final product, the maize and blue pigeon dropping above must have been up against some runner-up choices like this...

 

Actually, neither of these are much worse.

* Don't give me shit about the Project Runway reference.  Because if you have a wife or girlfriend, you've had to take one for the team at some point and sit through an episode of this eye-gouger.